loved and lost...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Jessy, Oct 10, 2014.

  1. Jessy

    Jessy Member

    This may be the wrong place to write this... I can't help it I just need to put it down somewhere.. but how do you get through losing the love of your life?

    who ever said "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" is an asshole.
  2. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Teddy, its just not easy. I'm having a really tough time getting someone I was in a relationship with for several years myself. When the holidays approach, it makes the pain even worse.

    You said it yourself, "get through" the loss. That is all we can do at this point, until the feelings start to diminish over time. Nobody ever said it would be easy, but taking a chance on love often does involve hurt.

    Yeah, I'm not so sure about that quote either. I wish I never gave my heart to this person. But, we can't take it back, so we learn to heal and mover forward as best as we can.

    Best wishes.
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    It was Alfred Lord Tennyson.

    Maybe he meant that when healed, you can look back with fondness rather that pain and hurt, or he was an arsehole lol.

    Time, I'm afraid is the only healer.
    Go through the grief, anger, etc. and I promise you, you can come out the other side, been there and each day it got a little easier, a little less painful; until I'd go whole days without even thinking on it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 11, 2014
  4. random33

    random33 Well-Known Member

    The initial pain is brutal, but it does get better with time, being heart broken is something that almost everybody has experienced.

    As Terry said sometimes we can look back with fondness and a good feeling of nostalgia, the first time I had my heart broken was almost 14 years ago, it was my first "real" relantionship and being just out of my teens with little life experience it felt like the world was about to end, I trully believed that that girl was my soul mate and the only one for me in the whole world.
    She broke up because she didn't felt that she really loved me, it hurted a lot, but it did got better with time, today I have great memories of our relantionship, there were a lot of "firsts", so she will always have a special place in my heart. We don't talk much, but I'm very happy for her, she is now married and has 2 beatiful kids and I can feel a little warmth in my heart knowing that she is happy :)

    I guess that things are harder when the break ups are messy and/or cheating is involved. Either way being in love is an amazing experience and I believe it is better to love and get hurted than to never love at all even if it doesn't seems like it when the wounds are fresh.
  5. Jessy

    Jessy Member

    I just want the constant physical pain to stop. I mean I literally feel pain in my chest. I can't sleep because my dreams are completely consumed by her. my life is slowly crumbling around the fact that I can't seem to recover from this loss.

    I understand the "Time heals all wounds" but how long am I supposed to wait? I can't keep this up. I'm not strong enough to keep going day after day like this....
  6. random33

    random33 Well-Known Member

    There is no time frame, it depends on the person, on the lenght of the relantionship and many other factors, sometimes it can take a few weeks, sometimes a few months, sometimes years to get over it, but it usually get's better with time, from personal experience the most difficult time are the first 2 months, after that the pain started to fade. Going to a counselour may not be a bad ideia, I have a cousin that was "dumped" 2 weeks before the marriage, after a 10 year relantionship and it destroyed him, he is ok now, but went trough counseling.
  7. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    I agree with you. its better to never have loved at all.
  8. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I guess I would disagree. Have had heartbreak and divorce, but if I honestly thought wish I had never met the person then I would seriously question if it was ever really love....
  9. Jessy

    Jessy Member

    They say everything happens for a reason. but why go through these relationships to end in such pain and devastation?