Loved and Lost

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by loopy, Nov 16, 2010.

  1. loopy

    loopy Well-Known Member

    Im a bit of a fraud to post here but it is one of the main causes of my feeling so down.

    Tonight I have truly lost my soulmate. We have been going rounf in circles for the last 3 weeks and it has been killing me. We were together for 3 years and now he is with someone new.

    He has been telling me he is still in love with me and wants to be with me but doesnt want to hurt this new girl as he has to see her most days at work. He has been saying this for 3 whole weeks and when i say you cant love me that much else you would be with me he discounts it.

    ive broke my phone so he cant text me but he emails me and im weak so i mail back. sometimes i feel so desperate i mail him tho, i know is wrong but i dont know what else to do.

    tonight we had a chat and as usual ended in emotional bust up. ive had to say goodbye for good as i cant take it no more. i cant be just his friend it hurts too much.

    ive had to request diazepam off doctor to cope with it all.

    i cant imagine life without him

    am so lost and depressed dont know how will get through this now.

    wish i wasnt a depressive person then maybe could cope with it all :(
  2. loser

    loser Well-Known Member

    What you are going through is hell and it will be hard for you to believe you will ever recover. You will but I do not expect you to believe it. You just have to carry on somehow and I think you are right to be distrustful of your 'soulmate' When you get over him you will be glad to have had a lucky escape. You are more important than this guy. Think about doing what you what to do, having your own interests, your own life. Okay you feel sad and that is a pain that cannot be denied . But it is a pain from which you will gradually recover. Feel it, and then watch it flow away. You have been strong in facing up to the truth about him so give yourself credit for that. Cry and then realize this guy is not worth your tears and let yourself enjoy other interests.
  3. loopy

    loopy Well-Known Member

    Thank you :) I am trying, its soo hard. Love hims so much, we were so alike.
    Is much my fault as his but all he has been saying has totally confused me nd made me worse. I kinda wish he was just horrible to me and told me he didnt like me no more. would be easier to move on.
  4. loopy

    loopy Well-Known Member

    I feel a bit of a fraud tbh, there are people on this site going through so much worse than me. I was managing my depression not too bad before this, now has spiraled out of control again.
  5. loser

    loser Well-Known Member

    You are not a fraud. Your pain merits compassion because almost all of us have to face it sometimes and it is one of the worst agonies. When it is over we tend to forget how bad it was till the next time. It does make sense to see him as he is rather than try to hate him. But there is no quick cure. Distracting yourself with other interests might help though.
  6. loopy

    loopy Well-Known Member

    Thank you loser. you certainly dont seam like a loser to me xx
  7. Sorry for your break up. I've been through a similar situation recently, and it's really hard to cope with all these feelings. It's tough to think recovering it's possible in moments like these, so there is no shame in feeling extremely low and in posting here, there's no need to blame yourself. You're talking about it and seeking help, which is already a good thing. If you have good friends near you, you might do well in talking to them, they can be really helpful in times like these. I'd say to you the same things loser have already said, to distract yourself with other interests. Doing things you like and you are very good at (music, drawing, depends on the person) might even help you meet interestig people while distracting you of those memories. I'm trying realy hard at it, and it's helping me somehow.
    best wishes