The initial postings of a traumatized, reclusive wreckage of a human being. After twenty five years on this earth I've remained in a miserable blackened state of solitude out of delusional fears and self loathing. Awareness of my predicament and condition is not conducive to a state of epiphany through which i can suddenly will my hips to dance and meet lips with that girl i know inextricably or so i am convinced. I find myself here, moaning like a useless pile of garbage, the same puerile crap i was purging many years ago as a narcissistic masochist masturbating my consciousness away. I get the impression that this is a bilge for all those that lack the balls to waste themselves properly, can anybody offer real substantial comfort that doesn't include smileys? Insidelessflow.