Lovesick/frightened/performed a song on video/not sure what to do

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by DrivEthermissIon, Oct 30, 2009.

  1. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member


    This was something I was going to send someone but didn't:

    I don't think you should have approached me XD . You were literally in my dreams and nightmares the whole night, as well as in all my waking thoughts. Please stay away, I don't want to hurt you. It's not really you, or me, it's more my spirituality, we are all like candles, but some of us are bonfires, and those people everything in me seems to want to lunge toward and bowl over like a giant alsation dog coz I'm very attuned, but I've never seen one so bright. I don't know what to do, it's killing me inside. Please stay away. Please forgive me. I don't know what to do. I don't even know anything about you. I'm so sorry. I'm not like you, I'm not like anyone. I'm scared of you too, I'm scared of everyone.

    I don't know what to do, I wrote a song even. I don't know their age, I know they're female, I hope they are not too young, if they are 63, well it's okay by me, though...I don't know what to do. I don't care what they look like, coz I imagine what they'll look like some day beyond all this, I'm the only one who does that, I don't care, I swear. Help me someone. Help me God. I don't want to hurt them. Maybe I'm insane, am I insane? ._. What's wrong with me, I wish I could tell them I'm sorry, I wish I could say sorry to those in my past who I've hurt, maybe I'm insane.

    I’ve got to control myself, I’ve ****ed up enough people’s lives already online, God give me the strength to keep this to myself. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

    I’m too horrible anyway, if they could see the disgusting, ugly person I really am, they’d pity me. What can I offer in this life to someone so sophisticated? Nothing, I'm just a pathetic hermit with no future, past or present. I mean sure one day I'll be dancing in the stars and I'll be able to give whole realms to anyone and paint her name in the sky with real stars and fireworks never seen on Earth when I ask her to...well I won't say it, but until then, I can't do anything, I'm too much of a mess, I break hearts, I have demon's hands. Anyway, it's all dreams, just bull****, it's just dreams, pining dreams of garbage in the real world. I feel sick. I feel so scared and sick. Is it wrong? ._.

    I'm going to cry, I don't know what to do ;__; . Why is my life like this? Why are all the rainbows black? ;__; I'm too cursed, I'm too unlucky, nothing is meant to be in my life, it always slips out of my hands.

    I want you guys to watch the next video:

    Bosson – Over the mountains

    Like in the video, I also had a red light in my room, whilst I was in bed, it was on my 21st. Grrrrr! Get out of my ****ing head!

    Here’s my video, it's got terrible clicks and everything XD I really screwed up:

    C Am
    Roses and raindrops

    F G
    Violets and dew

    C Am F G
    My love and wishes for you

    C Am
    Paint me a star

    Dm G
    Give me your dreams

    C Am Dm G C
    Shower the rainbows with tears

    E Am
    There is a light

    Dm G
    That shines from your face

    C Am
    Translucent and pure

    F G
    It's never afraid

    C Am
    And whilst on it's seas

    Dm G
    I'm drowning so lost

    C Am Dm G C
    I know it will guide me back home to you


    Gm [5th fret bar chords]
    Blood on the snow

    [5th fret bar chords]
    Ash in the wind

    Gm [5th fret bar chords]
    Pain in the red

    [5th fret bar chords]
    But it will end

    C Am
    Roses are red

    F G
    Violets are blue

    C Am F G C
    Though I swear there's none like you dear

    Anyway, I'm just venting...just ignore me ^__^ . I'll be okay, somehow.
  2. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    I just shattered a glass decorative ball accidentally. I guess that's a bad sign .__.
  3. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    Maybe someone could offer advice.
  4. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    I know I'm very strange XD
  5. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    It was like a flood you know?
  6. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    One day when this is all over I'll be the most handsome, healthy and happy person in the whole world, now I'm not ._. .
  7. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Hiya Chrissy,

    Take a breath! Relax. How are you today? What good happened?

    You are so talented, your able to write songs and express yourself, I wouldnt even know where to start.

  8. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    Thank-you Kate ^__^ Well it comes from a lot of tragedy.
  9. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    A really nice guy i know said:

    "Truest forgiveness/healing/beauty/shoulder-stars are only found in compassion. Look for the good. YOU are cared for."

  10. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member


    Thank-you. That made me feel a bit better.

    I'm not feeling well Kate. I think my illnesses are progressing.

    I don't know what to do.
  11. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    There's a certain test I have to pass, a special task, and I have to be well in a few weeks to do it. Pray for me.
  12. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    You're a wonderful friend Kate. Thank-you again so much.
  13. Seano

    Seano Well-Known Member

    I hope to get the right setup to check out the videos over the weekend, Chris.

    Just one thing I'm wondering. The E major that runs with 'There is a light,'. There is a house in New Orleans sort of sweetness to it, but maybe I should check the videos in case it was a small typo. I'm almost about to dig my cheap old guitar out of its cardboard just to play the chords, but I'll wait for when I get the chance to see the full picture you've already created that's currently beyond my software.

    It's nice to have something interesting to do on the weekend for a change, so thanks.
  14. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    Thanks Sean.

    I think I'm being dissolved. ._. Not feeling well. ._. No-one can save me.

    Sound has stopped working on my PC. God what a rotten life.

    Born under a very cursed star...
  15. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    So I'm feeling a bit better, I don't think I'm going to say why just yet ^__^ .
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 30, 2009
  16. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    *feels cold and shivers* :(
  17. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Kate gives Chrissy a cosy blankie, sits him infront of the fire with a cup of hot chocolate and hugs him :)

    Chrissy, you are cared for here, a lot of people think you are great, me included, let it all out. We will ALWAYS be here for you.

    You helped me with songs and kind words when i was feeling really low, so thank you so very much. You were an angel when i needed you. :HUG: