It's been awhile since I logged in here. I am still suffering in my heart about this neighbor who shared an intimate relationship over 2 yrs. ago. It has fizzled out because this "fling" was only that-a fling. I was the one who got hurt and he left me with no closure and just left me hanging. I have been struggling for so long and beat myself up in the head for why do I still love this guy after what he's done to me? Although he was always sweet to me, he never saw me as a girlfriend and my heart broke when I finally woke up and smelled the roses. It was never meant to be-only for sex. I regret so much for ever even getting involved with him the way it did and I can't forgive myself and forgive him either. I hold a resentment in my heart everytime I hear about him from a neighbor and anything that reminds me of him. I know I have to move on but I think I'm sick in the head. I am obsessed about him and I know that is my mental illness playing with me. How else can I justify why I still fantasize about him after he's hurt me so bad? I'm crazy!