I am 52 almost 53 and i posted here a few days ago and I wanted to explain what has brought me here. Around 5 years ago i found a growth on my penis this was diagnosed as Penile Cancer and within 2 weeks I was in hospital having a Penectomy, I was told not all would be removed but 2 more subsequent operations have left me with nothing, which is not quite true I have been left with physical as well as psychological scarring, I no longer feel a whole man and am reminded of this daily. Also that was when the voices in my head started, they started as laughter then monks chanting then songs and now abuse 24 hr a day 7 days a week. They abuse me they abuse anyone who gets close to me they hate me telling anyone about them and right this minute they are screaming at me to stop writing about them, but I have to because I am at a stage where what they tell me to do seems the only way. They tell me to kill myself the world will be a better place without you martin, go on do everyone a favour and die!! I hate sleeping and i hate waking because they never give me any peace, this morning I found tablets all over my bed I cant remember doing it and I started to cry they told me to finish the job, I have a friend who is kindly talking to me and i am scared that I am going to let her down by giving in to these demands. My parents are away in their caravan this weekend and I know the voices are going to be relentless in their demands, I also have crohns disease which has left me with only half of my bowels and waiting for biopsy results at the moment, whenever I fall over the voices laugh, whenever anyone gets close to me they back off when they learn about things , they say I will always be here for you then disappear. Anyway I have taken up too much of every ones time, thank you for reading and I am sorry for any mistakes but am upset and cant really see what I am typing.