Low

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Prophet, Nov 11, 2010.

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  1. Prophet

    Prophet Well-Known Member

    I've been really low today all day, eyes watering now and again, just feel empty and I don't know...low. Emotionally, I'm face down on the floor.

    I'm sat here staring at this forum like it's going to give me some magical answer, I feel empty and alone, cold (actually cold, its freezing, wind and rain lashing my window).

    Feel drained. I'm trying not to cut again, I don't even know why that seems like a good idea right now.

    An exert from Zzyzx Rd by Stone Sour:

    "What am I supposed to hide now?
    What am I suppose to do?
    Did you really think I wouldn't see this through

    Tell me I should stick around for you
    Tell me I could have it all
    I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go

    I'm ready to live with my family
    I'm ready to die in obscurity
    'Cause I'm so tired that I gotta go"

    :sad:
     
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    sorry you are feeling so low today. wish i could be there to make a nice cup of tea for you, and maybe a roaring fire in the fireplace to ward off the rain and the cold. try to not cut, it's only a temporary release. have you tried some distractions to cutting? sometimes i hold ice, other times i rip up a bunch of papers, or even the phone book. it feels good. thinking of you tonight and hoping you feel better tomorrow.
     
  3. ipod

    ipod Member

    i hope you don't cut. it's not worth it. :/
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i have sat and stared endlessly letting the tears come and just flow to tired to fight them back I hope that in letting them flow you feel somewhat alive really as emotions are a sign of awareness i do hope you can rest after all the tears and i hope tomorrow will bring a better day
     
  5. Alcor1

    Alcor1 Member

    I don't really know what to say, but I hope you're able to get through it without scarring yourself physically or mentally. I can understand the cutting, but I can't do it.

    When I feel like that, I retreat to my room with a nice cold glass of milk. I drink the whole thing, then wonder exactly why I'm not feeling well. If there isn't a reason, I look for something to cheer me up. Cats are nice. I have two pet cats. When one of them is near by I cuddle her. It alleviates some of the worry, since I'm often distracted by the fact that I have no idea how cats purr.

    Distractions are nice.

    Hope you feel better.

    EDIT: I kind of wish that I knew a bit more about you so that I could phrase what I said better. Sorry if I sound a bit inconsiderate. I don't know what to say.
     
  6. Prophet

    Prophet Well-Known Member

    I've let you all down, you gave me your support and welcomed me and I've let you down.

    I'm so sorry.
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you have let noone down you are struggling in pain we understand that okay. We do not judge you it is not our place. We will continue to support you and care about you because you deserve kindness and compassion okay. You deserve so much more. Take time to let the sadness out okay please let it go
     
  8. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i know what it's like to be alone and in pain. you are not letting anyone down. if you think you will harm yourself tonight (i don't mean cutting) call the crisis line or go to the ER. they will help you. if you mean that you gave in and cut, that's okay. sometimes we have to do what we do to survive another day. i get it. i've been cutting on and off since i was 14. i'm 45 now and i still struggle with self harm. hang in there.
     
  9. Alcor1

    Alcor1 Member

    Don't worry. You didn't let any of us down. As far as I'm concerned,
    the only reason any of us are on this site is to help others
    stop letting themselves down, so as long as you
    are doing your best not to do something
    you're still getting better so
    you'll work it out
    eventually.

    EDIT: Don't be too hard on yourself. I don't know enough to offer better advice aside from the generalizations, but you should know that if I could, I would.
    You've let no one down.
     
  10. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    hey Prophet

    you didnt let people down dont worry. we all wish you didn't, but it doesnt change the fact that we all know your struggle and suffering. we all have breaking points when we cave into the feeling and do whatever it is were trying not to.


    hang in there

    and im always here for you :hug:
     
  11. Prophet

    Prophet Well-Known Member

    Well I'm still here, I did some damage but I'm still here. Thanks for the messages.
     
  12. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you are still here
     
  13. Prophet

    Prophet Well-Known Member

    Thanks fitzy.

    Hmm, it says I'm a member now, not new member, must be post count. Should probably calm down on the posts, I'm very much new.
     
  14. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    glad your still here prophet....you don't have to 'calm down' in your posts...saying how you feel is what this forum is about...
    we won't judge you...we want to help and support if we can..
     
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