lowest I have ever been

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I dont think I have ever been and felt as low as I do now...I have lost every joy,I dont even care about tomorrow and if I could just avoid it and immediately go to the weekdn where I can stay home all day and avoid work I would be relieved.I dont smile anyomre,I just fake one(after trying very hard) when I have to but mostly I look serious,angry or sad.I dont eat and I have lost weight but I think this mostly happened because I feel so bad,it is wearing me out..I cut myself after a long time and I feel uneasiness cause I want to cut more but dont have an excuse if someone sees them.I really miss summer days and the days when I didnt have to worry about work.I cannot stop thinking about killing myself and the thought of me falling from the 5th floor bring piece inside.Noone knows I am so severelly depressed but my family can see it and my mom yells at me instead of trying to help me,she keeps saying "Why are you like that?Did someone die?" ironically,I wanna say "Yes,I did,a long time ago" but I usually dont answer and stay in my room.My friends have noticed I am a bit sceptical but they dont say much,and thats better cause I dont like explaining how I feel.
I dont think I have ever been more depressed and suicidal as I am the last couple of weeks,suicide seems so appealing as never before.

Sa Palomera

Well-Known Member
hey aurora_fighter :hug:

Im sorry for the late reply, I haven't been browsing the forum much lately.

I'm sorry you feel this way, I really am, and if you ever need a talk, you can always pm me :hug:

how are you feeling now? are you ok?
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