Mad at myself

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Scully, Nov 16, 2010.

  1. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    I want to be with him. And it makes me feel mad because he lives so far away, he's older, and he's married. He knows I exist but that's all I guess. My body aches from not being with him, and my soul hurts from being separated from him. If only I could tell him my real feelings I'm not sure I'll have the heart to. I can't tell his name, and won't, but can say that I love him, madly maybe. I fall asleep dreaming of him at night, romantic pictures of us together, or sweet making love with him. I have fallen for him slowly, months after month, and it makes years now. I'm not a child anymore. But my heart bouncing in my chest each time I see him makes me feel like one. So I keep that secretly for me. My Philes friends just think I like him. I joke around, when I want to burst into bitter crying. One person really knows now. An online friend, it did good to talk this over a little off my shoulders. I'm a hopeless romantic and will keep dreaming I guess. <3 you mister.
     
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    :hug:
     
  3. loser

    loser Well-Known Member

    None of us are immune from these sorts of feelings though many of us like to pretend that we are. I always recommend focusing on interests or sublimating the emotional energy into some project, activity, creative goal.
     
  4. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    I have the same problem. I tried telling her how I felt, but she told me she didn't care. Every holiday I spent with her. Alone with her. I never did anything with her, but when you are alone with just one person. You feel as if they care. As if they are special, but then it turns out that you were just a phase. Nothing will ever replace that time I spent with her. Every memory is burnt into my head. Even the clothes she wore the first day she spent time with me, and only me. You know she is happy, but you are not. If only these feelings weren't so selfish, maybe you could be happy for her, but she told you herself that she didn't care. It hurts when the most important girl in your life says those words. It's like a million knives piercing your heart.