I am always amazed that I can make it through the night. After I go to bed my thoughts begin to race. Always come back to feelings of being lonely and thoughts of sucide. It at night that I think about all the oportunities I've missed out on. Always pray that I won't wake up. Then morning comes another day. Mary I miss you. It is amazing that I still love you after all these years. There is something to be said for having the capacity to love. I wish I could hold you one more time and tell you I love you. You were the very best part of my life. I don't blame you for leaving me but I sure do miss you. Michael
It's okay to miss her Michael. She was a very special part of your life. I am sorry things didn't work out as you would have liked them to. We all make mistakes and regret them later. Remember the good things that have come from the life you led even though she wasn't a part of it. You would not have the beautiful children you do had things gone the other way. You may not have followed the same career path and had the opportunity to be blessed by some of the people that crossed your path because of it. I do not know why things went the way they did, but someday you will have an answer to that question. And, in time, you will be reunited with her. Have patience until that day comes. Live the life you have been given and make the most of it. :hug: