I'm trying to figure out if I'm counting the days till i kill myself or the days I've made it without .. I made it through the night with out .. But what's better lasting longer for my son or just getting it over with .. I read somewhere that children who have a parent who committed suicide before they were 18 are three times more likely to kill them selves (my dad killed him self when I was 6) but that static drops hugely is the parent kills them self after the child is 18 .. So do I just wait a few more years ?