Made it through the night

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Richard 007, Jun 3, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Richard 007

    Richard 007 Active Member

    Last night was tough , very tough .
    On Saturday I put together everything I need to , well , carry out the previously unthinkable , I intend to stick to my timescale for doing this (December 22nd of this year) one day before my Birthday , I prey that there has been an improvment in how I feel by then but if not I'm ready , there is no fear , just a lifetime of sadness .
    We all have looked into how we leave this mortal coil and I have made my choice .
  2. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    hi Richard. welcome to the forum

    i read other posts of yours and i feel your pain. you are going through a rough time and emotionally shattered. and your wound is still new.
    however, my dear, time will heal. no matter how long it takes, be patient please.

    i used to be heart broken once. i know how badly it hurts, but soon the pain will gradually subside.
    also, please don't forget that you have little children whose lives and happiness depend entirely on you.
    no one can ever take your place. your are their daddy, always.

    see a therapist if you want to. he might be better at giving advices on how to cope during this difficult time.
    i hope you feel better soon.

    sending a warm hug
  3. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Hey agree with the above post how about working on being better by Dec 22 or feeling more improved.Takes some work and this you can do with a therapists help.Forget the suicide plan right another out how to work on rebuilding your life and finding that happiness within.Take care
  4. Richard 007

    Richard 007 Active Member

    It's the children that breaks my heart , we made 4 stunningly beautiful children together and every day I see how much this is hurting them , I am so angry with the "grown ups" for acting like children .............. I can't stop crying , everytime I look at them or pick them up I cry , and I know my suicidal feelings are immensely selfish but I think a broken father is no good to them , and I am just that , broken and I have no idea how to fix myself , I have been on antidepressants on and off for years , I have been in therepy and done the crappy put your feelings in boxes and put them away bullshit "sorry" , I know what the root cause of my inability to show affection and love is , and my wife new why I found it hard , but I guess she needed more , and I understand that , I just don't know if I can deal with this loss , the biggest loss of a life full of them ..............
  5. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I too have 4 children and went through hell and back and still have those days from time to time.Yes your right adults can be the biggest children.You need to put your most inner strength into play here and get yourself well and i do understand some therapies give ya the shits but find something that can work for you.those 4 children need you and dads can have biggest influence on children.I know getting well is hard find that myself but never give in and the more effort you put in the more suprised you will be with the amount of inner strength that can build.Bit by bit always remember takes time.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.