I just can't shake these mood swings... I have so much shit going on... :cry:
So much crap in my head.. My birthday was the 14th.... I got my letter confirming my switch in disability to me Saturday.. My bros death anniversary in on the 28th. His birthday is on the 29th. He died a day before 13 in 2005.. We used to celebrate birthdays together.. There's the day I died on April 10th 2007.. My Aunt had heart surgery on April 8th this year, and no one is telling me anything.. And just everything else..
And all of this is bringing up so much pain.. I've started imaging people dead when I've gone on walks.. And prior to the day I died in 2007.. I saw similar things.. Just imaging people killing themselves.. At every turn.. Tho this time It's less pressing so far..
I'm trying to hold it all together.. I've been trying to cope.. I draw pictures, take walks, listen to music, try to get enough to eat, I sleep enough.. But I just.. I do fine for a second.. then I just remember one thing and it all comes crashing down again.. Sometimes I want to just curl in a ball and hide.. Just lay there and die..
I'm sorry to anyone I may have hurt in chat or otherwise.. my mood swings are very rapid and strong.. I don't mean to hurt anyone.. :blub:
So much crap in my head.. My birthday was the 14th.... I got my letter confirming my switch in disability to me Saturday.. My bros death anniversary in on the 28th. His birthday is on the 29th. He died a day before 13 in 2005.. We used to celebrate birthdays together.. There's the day I died on April 10th 2007.. My Aunt had heart surgery on April 8th this year, and no one is telling me anything.. And just everything else..
And all of this is bringing up so much pain.. I've started imaging people dead when I've gone on walks.. And prior to the day I died in 2007.. I saw similar things.. Just imaging people killing themselves.. At every turn.. Tho this time It's less pressing so far..
I'm trying to hold it all together.. I've been trying to cope.. I draw pictures, take walks, listen to music, try to get enough to eat, I sleep enough.. But I just.. I do fine for a second.. then I just remember one thing and it all comes crashing down again.. Sometimes I want to just curl in a ball and hide.. Just lay there and die..
I'm sorry to anyone I may have hurt in chat or otherwise.. my mood swings are very rapid and strong.. I don't mean to hurt anyone.. :blub: