I am posting here because I feel the need to have someone other than myself read my last legacy. I am quite a bit older than most of you here. I am 53 years old, married, and have three children in college. I lost my professional job last year and have been desperately searching for over eight months for a new one. I have applied to well over 200 firms without so much as even one interview request. Believe me when I say that age discrimination does exist! In any case, the money in our family is finally running out, and we cannot afford to send our children back to college next semester, among many other things. We have incurred over 30,000 in debt since I have been unemployed, paying for healthcare, the mortgage, several car payments, insurance, and general living expenses. I have a 2 million dollar life insurance policy. It does not pay for suicides. I must make my death look like an accident with no questions asked. This is the only recourse I have to leave to my children. No one knows about this except you, the reader and me. My family is blissfully ignorant of my plan, of course. As much as I hate to die in a car crash, this seems like the best way to make it look like an accident. I will tell my husband I am going to dinner with some collegues to discuss a possible job opportunity. I'll arrainge this little get together next week. After dinner, I'll stop at the bar for a few drinks ( not too many, if they do an autopsy, I don't want my blood alcohol levels to be suspicious to the insurance company so they won't pay for blatant drunk driving) to calm my nerves, then drive myself into oblivion ( I've already chosen a bridge abuttment that is on my way home, where I can build up enough speed to cause a crash that I won't be able to live through). Somehow, I feel that writing this is finally making it real, and I feel almost a sense of relief. Only a stranger will know my secret intentions, and that is all I need to know. My family will be able to collect and not have to suffer the stigma of suicide. Take care.