Make it stop-

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Shari'sAlterEgo, May 9, 2016.

  1. Been on 8 dif antidepressants in 2015 in various combinations and dosages (currently 200mg Zoloft)
    Seen 3 dif psychiatrist before and after a stint in mental health facility- outpatient.
    Countless therapists but only the last 3 feeling they can't help me; one insisting the problem is chemical,another the same until finally suggesting in-patient. This makes no sense as I'm holding down a full time job.
    Which brings me to the actual issues...
    Husband and I both work full time and we are in ever growing debt just to pay the bills. College around corner for my eldest.
    I have 2 beautiful children and don't want to leave them. My husband really tries to be supportive but can't truly understand how sad I really am.
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Welcome to the forum @Shari'sAlterEgo
    *hugs* What kind of therapy did you try?
  3. Cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy
  4. Also, it causes issues when I keep harping on financial as it reflects partly on him.
    I don't like to owe anyone anything- not a penny. Somehow the bills are as much as we make- everything else goes on credit card. Mortifying situation.
  5. I know there are far worse problems than being in debt and hating your job but that goes right back to the problem being chemical.
    I thought I was doing better.
    I saw a holistic psychiatrist and I'm on tons of supplements with the Zoloft.
    Also 5htp and GABA.

    The outpatient stint was brought on by feelings of inadequacy at work.

    The debt is an emotional issue based on childhood issues (depressed dad unable to provide etc) also making me feel like a failure and petrified for my children.
    How can I take care of them??
    So yes it's also hereditary
  6. sahel

    sahel SF Supporter

    I am sorry that therapy hasn't worked out for you, yet. just wanted to tell that I know it's not easy and I am so proud of you for being strong. You are a caring and loving mother, your family members are lucky to have you, and you are very right about not leaving them. I wish financial situation gets better, as well. I do wish that things get better for you and I am sending positive energy toward you :)
  7. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. Your post saddens me but you children would miss you. You have gone through a lot and in my book your are a SURVIVOUR and AMAZING in that YOU are holding down a full time job. You have the survivor instinct in YOU. Be proud of what you have being through and YOU can survive on a day by day basis.

    Please keep posting here for the support you deserve.
  8. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Counseling and Meds while good at making a person able to deal with issues in a manner that is appropriate instead of just lying in bed and feeling helpless do not actually change the life situations we are in. There is genuine and normal stress involved in being in debt and the ability to pay ones bills- and if you are still sending out payments and tracking spending, being responsible, and continue working then you are already "dealing with the issue" to the extent possible without simply having more money/income. Ultimately , if despite your best efforts that is not enough , then taking a very hard look at your spending and even ultimately having to decide which bills will get paid and accepting some will not is a painful reality that no amount of counseling and med changes will alter.

    What exactly is it you are diagnosed with to be given this number of meds and what are the symptoms of your condition aside from worrying about the bills you are not able to pay?
  9. Thanks all.
    To answer jump master I have depression and anxiety. No meds seemed to work so they kept changing. Now I'm on supplements as well as Zoloft.
    Symptoms range from hopelessness to feeling completely worthless to wishing I could just not continue.
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi hun, I am sorry for what you are going through. I respect the fact you have tried lots of different medications but it can literally take years to find the right ones for you. I know that sounds daunting but that's the truth.Do you at least like your job? Do you feel joy from anything? I hope you recover soon!
  11. Hate my job- it is a cause of the anxiety and what sent me to outpatient treatment/temp disability.
    No joy in any thing.
    The kids used to be my pleasure.
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Sorry to hear that. Having no joy in anyting is a classic symptom of depression. Maybe try exercising, I know it makes me feel a ton better. How about music? Music can drastically change your mood, I know it's only temporary but it helps too. Can you change your job if you are really too unhappy with the current one?
  13. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Totally get it for workplace causing us to feel like crap especially if we are unlucky with horrible bosses or coworkers that makes it a nightmare. Some of us don't get help from a lot medicaations but could be a right combination out there don't give up it takes some years of trying to hit jackpot. don't give up and look at your job can you afford to change jobs or transfer into a different department whatever job situation it is

    Good Luck!
  14. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum @Shari'sAlterEgo

    I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling and of your struggles. Financial situations can stress out anyone, and with you having a background like that, it's completely understandable.
    Also, you are doing a lot of very right things, going to therapy etc. DBT is really good, if you are ready to apply yourself and do the work that comes with it. Do you still use the methods you learned?
    Have you had any other counseling other than the CBT and DBT? Have you discussed your deeper problems?

    I also agree with @Petal re exercise, if you're able, it can really work well. It releases a lot of healthy hormones in your brain. I wish I could do that!

    I know you have tried a lot, but please don't give up! Keep trying! Keep reaching out
  15. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Depression and anxiety (as descriptions of how you would feel instead of medical terms/diagnosis) is very normal for having money problems and worrying about paying bills and college expenses. I am not at all saying that it is not serious- I am saying it is not at all surprising you feel that way and since you are still actually doing and functuioning completely i do doubt that meds are having a great deal of effect in helping you. While I am a firm believer in meds for treatment- feelings that are completely normal in a given situation meds will not help very much. I am guessing with two incomes that you fall into that "middle class" dark hole where you get no type of assistance or tax credits or help, pay too many taxes, and qualify for no type of benefits so it is very very hard to stretch money to cover all the needed things- it is a place I have become far too familiar with myself. If the job that makes this possible is also making you miserable but are unable to risk losing it then of course you feel awful. My point is that it is not you that are broken or weak in anyway.

    My only suggestions for practical advice would be to consider talking with a debt management type place that may be able to help you set up payment plans that are more within your budget and then remember that in the end if you tried and circumstances made it so you cannot afford to pay for something it is not worth losing your life over. So it goes to collection- write the collection agency a letter stating they may not contact you by phone - mail only and they cannot even call you. While the credit score will take a hit of course the bottom line is you cannot afford new large purchases that would be additional bills now anyway so you do not need the credit score right now. For College both my wife and i had had to pay our own college completely and deal with the loans, and that is what my kids are having to do as well. I wish I could pay university for them but in the end I cannot but they are still all getting/got a quality education. Being there for your kids is far more important than just paying for college. Being there for each other and kids is far more important than a bill to some credit card company or anything else that is not an immediate need for living like rent/mortgage food and utilities. If at some point in the future things improve you can work on the old debt to make that company a few more millions in profit- and while not saying people should not be responsible with debt- if you have tried then accept cannot help that CEO get richer and worry about necessities- there is no debtor's prison or anything and if the phone calls bother you write the letter and the calls will stop. Give yourself a break and do not be so hard on yourself about being in a situation many many peopel are in at some point. In 7 years all the old bills disappear regardless. Work on letting yourself relax and not feeling like a failure because you are not. You deserve to feel better and that starts with giving yourself a break - you deserve it.
  16. dov123488

    dov123488 Member

    We have enormous bills and are in Bankruptcy. I take it a day at a time and have accepted the part of the situation that is out of my control. Bankruptcy can free you from a lot though. But I respect that maybe you cannot do that in your situation.
  17. suzi

    suzi Well-Known Member

    Do you like the fresh air? It might be the only thing left I still enjoy. i go outside when it's not too hot. I can walk or just sit and BREATHE.