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Make it stop!!!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by itmahanh, Mar 18, 2008.

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  1. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm bawling and I cant stop. Over something so stupid. And I know the dear little one didn't mean it. How could he, he was just telling it like it is. But something snapped. Something deep inside me just snapped and I feel like I've gone mad. And now I made him cry and I hate myself for scaring him with my sobs, my poor little baby. And the more I tried to comfort him, the harder I cried. I just want a hug, another person to hold me and tell me it's going to be okay. I cant handle it anymore!!!!!!!!!! I hate that its going to be night soon. Another night of pain and booze and pills!!!!!!!!!!! I hate me!!!!!
  2. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    sweetie i know its hard, and sometimes children cant be really blunt about things. he didnt mean it though im sure hun. why dont you two go out for ice cream or something? yummm..lol please pm me and let me know youre ok sweetheart..ive been worried about you... *hug love ya hun
  3. malacoba

    malacoba Active Member

    pain and booze I know how you feel
  4. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I know there's nothing I can say that will make you feel better I wish there was this life is one bloody struggle sometimes. Just wanted to send you my love and that I'm thinking of you:hug :hug:
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sending you a few extra hugs and thoughts to help comfort you. I am sorry this hit you so hard. I hope night isn't too bad this time. :hug: :grouphug:
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Carla. What did your little son say to you that upset you so much? I don't think that he meant to hurt you. I hope that you're ok hun. :hug:
  7. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    I hope your feeling better. Little ones have no idea of what they are saying sometimes. I hope you are okay xxx
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Thanks everyone. It means so much to have such good and caring friends. It's just I'm in such a bad dark place right now and even the slightest little thing pushes me closer to that edge!! It wasn't that long ago that I went over that edge and it scares me because once again so soon I find such comfort in the suicidal thoughts. I know I'm heading into a very nasty down swing with my bipolar and I know "it" takes over the control. I just dont know what to do. I'm truly lost.
  9. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    :hug: :hug: :hug:
  10. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    You are only human, and as your child grows up he will accept this, no questions asked. Please do not feel bad for crying or feeling how you do, sometimes other people need to see that life is not all roses like some people will tell them, specialy children. Kids are forgiving too. You've done nothing bad, sometimes life just gets the better of us, all of us. I cry EVERY day over seemingly "small" things, often in public if I can't get to the toilets in time. :sad:
  11. Pensive

    Pensive Well-Known Member

    :hug: Hope you feel better soon, thinking about you.
  12. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please hang in there Carla. I'll be online later so we can talk. :hug:
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