makes no difference if i died

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by rggkjg1, Jan 18, 2009.

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  1. rggkjg1

    rggkjg1 Member

    as far as the rest of the world is concerned, i might as well be dead. everyone i knew has moved on. i haven't seen people i knew in years. i feel knowing the people i've known has been worth nothing at all, because one day they're gone as swift as you meet them.

    if i killed myself, so what. everyone i've ever known no longer sees me or hears me. it's like i dont even exist while i'm alive. even when i do kill myself, people i knew won't know. at best years from now some one i once knew will ask or wonder "what happenned to him?". i don't even know or care if whoever asks that question would get the answer that i killed my self.

    all my life i've just been getting a "taste" of good things. i've had enough of all it. screw all this. god forbid if i get some of the things in life everyone else i've know takes for granted.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter


    I'm sorry you feel this way.
    Do you have family? If so, they must care about you :hug:
    You should concentrate more on improving your life than what other people think of your life:unsure: It isn't easy, but it can be done :)

    :hug: I'm here if you need to talk x
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forum!! I know what you mean about having tastes of the good life. I had about a ten year spree in management where I bought a house, had two new vehicles, a fiance and a few other toys. Then I had a nervous breakdown and ended up in the hospital because I treid ODing and from there life went to shit quick. I lost everything and have been messed up ever since.
    The doctors have me as stabilized as they can get me. I still backslide and want to end it but I try to hang on to some positive thoughts and they usually get me thru the hardest part. Since I have been with the forum I have opened up alot on here. In the real world I don't say shit to anyone but my therapist.
    You have to hang on to what positive things that you do have in your life and build from them. I know it sounds easy but it's not. It takes alot of work on your part. I have been going thru a depressed state since November because I have a new shrink and he keeps messing with my meds. I'm finally getting him to start listening to me so hopefully We will get back to something that works for me.
    Try what I said and each day hang onto any positive thoughts you might have that day and work from there. Take Care!~Joseph~
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