Making blueprints for your death when ready?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Makatak, Jul 22, 2007.

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  1. Makatak

    Makatak Guest

    Did you ever find that, when you came up with a method, a time, and a place to kill yourself, all in detail, that you feel more at ease? Where you would feel more secure in knowing that you can take that 'escape route' whenever you feel ready? As opposed to straining yourself to keep yourself happy and life worth living so you don't feel trapped in a world of perpetual/intermittent pain that you can't get out of?
  2. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Can't say I have.
  3. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    yes .. in fact i have the plan already drawn up , i have the stuff , but i am trying to hold out longer cause i am dying anyhow of cancer and my life is going to end in a few months anyway... but if the pain gets too much then i probably will break somewhere along the end toward my dying death and actually do it.

    So why do you ask?
  4. expressive_child

    expressive_child Well-Known Member

    Actually, some time last year I have made up a plan to kill myself as safely and as peacefully as possible. I keep thinking of all sorts of methods and guess what? I figure out its not difficult at all, and the fact that I am almost sure that it will work out once I have the courage to do it, tempts me a lot. Its rather sick and twisted though. But I can't believe I am able to figure it out. Haha..well, at least I won't do it for now because I am holding on to the slightest hope still.

    Though I still have the strength to go on with life and to hope for a better tomorrow, I can only hope things will change for me or else I will carry out this plan. I thought of doing it on my upcoming birthday unless things change for the better of course. It seems effective as I think about it, because its a combination of a few methods in one and if the first fail, the second one will carry on itself and so as the third! If I still survive, then I guess I must be doomed to suffer till death do me part.

    What can I say? Life sucks and thats so goddamn true! :cry:
  5. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    well if you do that then where does that leave me?

    only you pm me the most and if you left i would have no one close by...

    are you gonna do that and make me cry?
  6. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    Yeah I know exactly what you mean.
    Just knowing that _____ is there for me to use kind of puts my mind at rest, because I know if things get really bad I always have that method waiting for me..
  7. silent_enigma

    silent_enigma Well-Known Member

  8. expressive_child

    expressive_child Well-Known Member

    I saw this thread again and suddenly I remember something. I once thought I will be commiting suicide soon so I wrote a couple of suicide letters to the people I love first cos I don't want them to wonder why I do it and I certainly don't want people to think I commit suicide for trivial reasons. Most of all, I want those people to know I love them. There are a few of them though.

    The reason I felt like writing them first is because I may not be able to write it in time if I decide to die cos I might be so depressed that time, I wouldn't think about nothing else but finding the quickest way to die and thus, everyone will be confused as to why I do it and shit like that. In a way, its sort of a preparation too. But since I decide to still live so I destroyed those letters.

    But many times I wonder, if I should write them first in case I feel like I'll do it for sure.
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