Making friends for the wrong reasons

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by FaintOfHearts, Feb 25, 2010.

  1. FaintOfHearts

    FaintOfHearts Active Member

    Another thread on this board reminded me of this. But my mom, god bless her, really tries to help me but she goes about it the wrong way. She doesn't know Im depressed, I doubt its even a word in her vocabulary, she just thinks I'm shy. Which brings us to the calls. Lately shes been getting all these phone numbers from co workers or family members who know people high up and she asks me to call them to build a relationship. That way when I want a job I can "use that person to get ahead" or "if you need something, they will give it to you because you know them". Now I know this is what many people do everyday, but to me it just seems so wrong even though im suppose to be "making friends".

    To be nice to someone solely for what they have, and over the phone no less. Id like to at least meet them face to face first so I could feel like im making an actual attempt. This just really bothers me because one of my friends admitted to only making getting to know people she could get stuff from. Well that revelation brought a whole lot of things into perspective, like her borrowing and neediness, which is why we don't talk much anymore.

    This whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth and a cloud in my mind. I use to think my paranoia and mistrust was me being a big baby, then stuff like this happens. I don't know what to do anymore.
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I've never been friends with someone to get stuff out of them...but you are right, that is a sad revelation...and those people must be really sad because material is just material it doesnt do can have all the money in the world and still be unhappy...

    when I make friends, its due to the connection we have and then it grows from there...I'm the kind of friend that will do anything I can to help friends...but that's not the main reason I am friends with someone...
  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Hey, I don't like the idea either-- but it's called networking and in the business world it's very important. Same with the entertainment world; if I want to get ANY sort of job whatsoever- it all depends on who I know. IT sucks, yeah- but that's reality for some people.

    I *do* on the other hand ONLY network with people whom I can get along with on a personal level. Potential friends- good coworkers- people I look up to for different aspects; make up my wide network of people in the film and animation industry. People who I do not like upon meeting in person (because I cannot network with someone over the phone-- it's impersonal and I just do not like it) I do not network with. I won't bother with the whole idea of 'using a person to get ahead' if I don't genuinely like them for some aspect.
    The way we look at it in entertainment is; 'scratch my back and I'll scratch yours'
    There's no way only one side can 'use' someone else- both parties get something out of it. (like- someone gets a referral- and if you do a good job; someone else will get a raise for referring said person. Both sides get praised and paid. everyone is 'happy')

    'Networking' is a nice word for ASSKISSING, I think. And I prefer not to get shit on my lips, thanks.

    If you don't like the idea then you don't need to do it of course. Your mom thinks she's trying to help you, but I understand where you're coming from. Not all forms of networking are so cold-- and you shouldn't do something that leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth.