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Making notes/instructions

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by weevil, Mar 18, 2010.

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  1. weevil

    weevil Well-Known Member

    Anyone could die accidently, but when you're already thinking about it a lot I suppose you're more likely to think of stuff like this...

    I do a lot of stuff online, if I were to die there's things that should be dealt with and people that should be informed. There's not many people near to me locally, it'd be a tough job going through all that to find out if there's anything they should look for.

    I'm making a text file to sit on my desktop called "READ IF I AM DEAD". First of all it will confirm that I didn't commit suicide (as it will be a concern). It will tell them any accounts they need to close, or people that need informing. I'm also going to make my bookmarks very organised so that everything I use can be easily found.

    Also of course, I'm really not expecting suicide at the moment but IF I did decide on it I could use the same file but change the first part to a confession.

    Is this weird behaviour or is it sensible?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think spending time on getting resources for yourself would be better. Use the energy you are using for this task into something positive like putting in place support systems when and if you do become suicidal again. take care
  3. weevil

    weevil Well-Known Member

    I sent a text to my "closest" local friend telling her of the existance of the file incase something happened to me. It's probably made her hate me even more, she was ignoring me anyway, but she's realistically the only person that could go through my stuff here.

    I have this awful sense of dread today that something will happen. I can't slow my heart down it's going 130bpm while laying down. When I stand I feel dizzy, get fuzzy vision and feel sick. Feels like my blood is aching. Some of that has been a symptom of not eating in the past but I have eaten today.
  4. Vagrant

    Vagrant Account Closed

    Note is useless like instruction too, get help they wont eat you, i went there 2 time, i get out with meds for depression and bipolar disorder + a *sexy* therapist mmmh, she's giving me a lollipop each time im going to see her ! :irony:
    Get help, Note & Instruction won't ride them of their pain it gonna give them more because they'll be confused and ask to themselve like 1000 thousand question and they probably wont be able to understand your decision,
    Okay buddy.
    Take care.
  5. agirl

    agirl Member

    Sounds sensible to me.
  6. Vagrant

    Vagrant Account Closed

    What you mean..., there is nothing sensible in writing a suicide letters or something else, gosh. :mad:
  7. Why not? I personally have an email drafted with a brief note and instructions about certain accounts that should be accessed after I'm dead.
  8. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    hey, it's also a symptom of internal bleeding. At least i had those plus headache when i was losing a lot of blood.

    I actually think it is sensible.
  9. weevil

    weevil Well-Known Member

    Just want to make clear that what I've written isn't a suicide note, it's something that can be used to help inform people and stuff like that. I don't need to be dead for it either, it can be used incase anything happens to me and I'm left in a situation where I can't do things myself, even if it's temporary.

    I wish people were nicer though. I know it's not nice to deal with when someone you know is having problems but why treat them as though they've done something terrible to you? I didn't even do that when I was 6 years old. It'd be nice if I could be honest and just talk without being accused of being antagonistic, attention grabbing or just ignored completely.
  10. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I think it's a good idea to have everything in order....sorta clears the mind of some clutter..
    especially good it's not a suicide note....
    I hope it never ends up being a suicide note....
    take care
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