Making other people pay through suicide attempt

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BigEyedFish, Sep 19, 2010.

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  1. BigEyedFish

    BigEyedFish New Member

    I guess sometimes it'd be nice to posthumously give myself some kind of foreknowledge that my untimely passing would give other people what they deserve for abusing me my whole life.

    Of course I'd imagine this is selfish. I've never been selfish, in fact, quite the opposite...always the last in line for food, money, everything.

    I've went as far as to write each person specific notes telling them how horrible they are, and that non-existence is definitely preferable to a hallow existence believing in a God that doesn't exist.

    I went to clergy, and "god works in mysterious ways." I renounced my faith some time ago and I've never felt more in control of my life. Right now I have a XXXXX.any number of ways.

    Am I suicidal? Not at the moment, but...if the opportunity presented itself, or if something drove me over the edge, then yes...I just want to think what the best possible way to do this with or without hurting others.

    I personally don't think suicide is selfish. The world is grossly overpopulated, I
    I am nothing but another biological endpoint, and endpoint of darwinism. It is my choice.

    My question is, what would be the best way to make those who have treated you like shit your whole life realize what they let slip through the cracks, and to make them treat others better in the future? How would you make the rite of suicide more poignant, far reaching, and symbolic?


    Let me clarify here, this is strictly hypothetical.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 19, 2010
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I thnk there is something valuable in positive selfishness...I know I cannot give away what I do not have, be it emotional or physical resources...hope you find other ways to put yourself first...J
     
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    the notes you've written will probably do it ..
    far better to tell them while you are here how they have hurt and upset you....assertively
    I've been having counseling for some time and she's teaching me how to tell people 'in the moment' so as not to internalise it and let it fester...
    takes some practice when you've always put others feelings before your own but it is slowly working for me...
     
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