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Making real friends on SF

Deety

SF Supporter
#44
Love this thread, and although I go through times of not logging on frequently, I certainly still think about certain people on here. Friends are much harder to make as an adult (in my experience) and I lost almost all of mine due to my break-up and divorce. They were all mutual friends, and my ex was/is manipulative and a liar. Even though everyone knew he had an affair etc, I guess its easier to stay friends with the self-satisfied happy person rather than the person who is a depressed wreck.
 
#45
My wife was a hermit. She didn't associate with anybody. But when I left, she got custody of all of my friends who were just trying to make sure she was ok: if she needed rides anywhere, needed food, etc. Goodness knows what she said to them along the way but I'm not hearing much from them now. But I guess I'm meant to be alone. It sucks.

But I've got my SF friends/family and that's good.
 
#46
I'll send some pm's out if anyone is willing on talking to me. I usually check my pm's weekly and will answer your pm's.

I'll be here to support you, give you advice if you need it and talk about hobbies as well.
I know what it's like to have a hard time speaking to people. I'm very shy and the internet is so much easier for me to speak to people.
Online I'm very chatty but in person it takes me awhile for me to open up to people.

I won't judge you or turn you away.
Just please take care of yourself.
 

Badger

SF Supporter
#48
I've already posted on this tread :) However, I'm a very suspicious/anxious person so if someone pm's me without any lead up chat I will think its a trick of some kind and my walls go up! Equally, I won't initiate a pm as I feel like I'm bothering people. Any suggestions? Catch 22!!
 

Walker

Everything Zen
Staff member
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Supporter
#49
I'm a very suspicious/anxious person so if someone pm's me without any lead up chat I will think its a trick of some kind and my walls go up!
This happens ALL THE TIME around here. It's not a trick. People just reach out to others who are on or who they think they might have something in common with from reading posts.
I do understand about initiating PMs'.
Perhaps the happy medium is sending a message through the email type system. As opposed to the messenger thing. I feel like that's a more chill way to send someone a "hello" and let's them get back to you when they can without the need for an immediate response of a PM on the messenger.
Fact is, we all choose to show up here and if we're here then we're replying and responding to people. Fielding messages is just another part of it. I personally don't like to message on the messenger because I log in here from my job and I'm in and out *constantly* so it's really rude when I just disappear from the conversation with no notice. I'm in and out of here 30 or 40 times in 8 hours at times. But everyone has a preference. You could send email and see if they want to talk by messenger :) Or go to chat and see if someone wants to talk another way.
 

Witty_Sarcasm

Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen
#54
And here I thought you and I just kept the same hours. Come to find out you're just ALWAYS HERE. whew. That's a lot of work you're putting in. Hope the paycheck is good here.
If I can help people feel better, that's all the payment I really need. :) My real job has (mostly) good hours, except during the holidays. I had maybe 13 hours so far this week, and I was getting 32 hours per week before lol.
 

Kolisar

SF Supporter
#56
I also just found this today. I love the idea. That is precisely how I view forums like this one. And, despite what many seem to believe (including pretty much everyone in my "real" life) it is possible to develop meaningful friendships online. In many cases the pseudo anonymity allows you to open up more than if you are face to face. The ability to be open and honest, also knowing that on a forum such as this one, that you will not be judged is, in my opinion, far more conducive to the development of a real friendship.
 
#60
Hi. I dont really know where to start. I actually came here to this site because i thought it would give me ideas of how to leave this lonely life.
That's what i was googling anyhow. I have been told im a smart person, but yet i dont know how to chanel that into positiveness. Relationships are hard. I have no friends. Only a friend. Have no immediate family around me, other than 2 brothers that live an hour away, and whom one never calls, only when i guess they need something. The other is too busy with work.
Extended family all over seas. So who do i have left? Other than my rship of 5 yrs, which i created because i didnt want to be alone.
I tell myself, no wonder you have no friends. People are nasty. Self righteous people, that think they are better than you so they ignore you. I find social situations quite awkward. They are mostly filled with people from my bfs family, so he has no qualm talking, but i just dont fit in.
 

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