man i hate this

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by 00x, Jan 9, 2008.

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  1. 00x

    00x Guest

    i'm buried in everything again and i can't breathe.

    my boyfriend's at work and im feeling my worst and don't have the balls to call anyone else..i can't bother anyone. i hate it when i fall apart like this. :cry: i have tears in my eyes and i hate it when people see and then you have to play it off like you're yawning or sick or something.
    i'm tempted to tell eveyrone to go away and fuck off but in truth that's the last thing i want them to do (yet i do want the world to leave me alone). and i'm not audacious enough to feel i have the right to bother anyone, so i'm just sitting here quietly.
    and i don't need any advice, or even anyone to listen. for the first time in my life all i need is someone else.. that gets it....
    some company or something, but i don't want to burden.
    i hurt. usually i'm more expressive with shit like this. but i hurt and that's it.
    and i was trying to do better all on my own. i was trying and i thought i was doing well and i thought i was being self-sufficient and i thought everything was doing better.
    i can't keep fucking climbing this mountain and nearly reaching the top, only to be shoved right back down by an emerging sheet of slushy snow. i hate this. i might as well just let go and enjoy the wind against my face as i fall.

    it all came crashing down again.

    god. life ain't beautiful at all. i feel like just taking a fucking :censored: to my :censored: and :censored: myself to death.
  2. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :arms: Not sure who this is, but I'm around if you want to chat, or want me to listen or anything.
  3. 00x

    00x Guest

    i know always are...
    you're not doing ok though?
    :hug: hope you feel better soon, sweetheart
  4. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :hug: Hope you do too.
  5. Robin

    Robin Guest

    You're welcome to bother me, am glad you reached out. Does your boyfriend help much when he's about?
  6. 00x

    00x Guest

    we've not been together that long, so there isn't too much he knows. but yeah, he's helpful. he tries. :)

    i'm feeling quite better now though (hope i haven't spoken too soon... :dry:).

    and thank you. :hug: :smile:
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