((Forgive me if the title is offensive.)) Things still aint gotten any better..And I have no one to talk to about it. My best friend is changing and doesn't talk to me, over some freaking girl. I have no one to talk to anymore. Seriously, I'm a fuckin loser. All I do is sit at the computer and post at some forum site like a freakin nerd. I can't get a woman cause I can't find any who won't hurt me horribly. I'd be dead by now but I aint got a gun, though I wish I do more than anything. And if I can find a better solution..I'mma do it. But I still haven't. I can't write enough songs, post enough topics to explain how fucking horrible I've felt all year and how horrible I feel now. I can't even get a tear out of it all either, so there's no relief, only pain. I feel as if I degrade women by looking at porn, but it's an addiction, and makes me feel like shit. I sometimes feel like God hates me because of certain reasons..I tried to follow Him more then ever and I all I asked was for happiness, then I started having dreams of Hell and saw demons all the time. And got more pain. My family could care less about me, and I could care less about me. And I know I probably sound emo or some shit..But call me emo, call me weak, call me a dramatic person, but you don't know how horribly this hurts. I couldn't use enough words to explain how much I hate this all and I can't fucking take it anymore. Nothing feels fix-able and there's even more then just what I posted here.