Man walks into a bar..

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Confusticated, Nov 22, 2010.

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  1. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    Okay so finish it off. I wanna hear all your one liners. Or whatever you have, doesn't need to be one liners. Doesn't even need to start with the topic header! Just something for people to break a smile out at. I'd share mine but it's rather lame :tongue:
  2. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member


    Short and sweet.
  3. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Man walks into a bar and says... got milk?
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Lol!! Agreed!
  5. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    !f #2 pencils are the most popular, are they still #2?
  6. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Yes. Yes they are.
  7. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    errr ok how about this:
    Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?!?!?!?
  8. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Haha, very good!
  9. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walk into a bar, and the barkeeper says "What is this? Some kind of joke?!"
  10. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    /\ lmfao. <3

    Man walks into a bar..
    a blonde follows!
  11. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Haha! That made me laugh!
  12. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    A man is stopped by the police at midnight and asked where he's going.

    "I'm on my way to listen to a lecture about the effects of alcohol and drug abuse on the human body."

    The policeman asks "Really? And who's going to give a lecture at this time of night?"

    "My wife."
  13. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Confusticated, you're one post short of 3000! Don't miss it!

    (I don't get the one about the blonde following... Anyone care to explain it?)
  14. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    I can't wait until 9001.. :p God I'm such a nerd.

    Woot! 3000!!

    I think it's just supposed to be one of those things that are unexpected, so if someone's caught off guard, and it was told bluntly enough, enough people would laugh or something.

    :cake::cake::cake: 3000!!! :cake::cake::cake:
  15. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

    The statement following is true. The statement prior is false.

    If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.

    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

    Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

    f someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?
  16. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    what do you call a man whos born in cleveland,grows up in cincinati and dies in columbus?

  17. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Two cows are standing in a field.
    One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
    The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
  18. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
    "What's the matter? Are you sick?" he asked.
    "No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."
  19. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    A man walks into a bar and blacks out.
  20. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    A piece of string ties himself into a knot and then frays the end so it looks like hair in a head. The string then walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry we don't serve string here."
    The string says, "I'm afraid not!"
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