Managed to cure everything but the lonliness.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Hache, Dec 14, 2011.

  1. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    So I managed to put things in motion to alleviate the pain of having no future. I managed to start chaning my diet a little, excercising a little, I go to work and I am active, I talk, I have positive energy.

    But I am so lonely. Here I am at 3:30am and it couldn't be stronger. There are some triggers, that being seeing hearing of other people's relationships. The only time I haven't felt lonely is when I have been in a relationship.

    Oh well.

    Also it doesn't help when pretty people are nice to me, fucks with my head, makes me think they want more than what they really do.
  2. I know what it's like to be lonely. I lived in a nice house, put a hot tub in made it look sweet! Always inviting friends over and new people to try to make new friends. Only 2 good friends of mine ever came over. I sat in the hot tub alone so many times drinking beer and pretending I was talking to people that weren't there. Nobody ever wanted to come over. I would sit in this entire house and wanted to have company SO bad I would pretend people were there.

    I still do it. Now I live in a room. No decorations except my tiny calendar. I sleep as long as I can, then when I wake up I go back to sleep a few hours later.

    I started going to a restaurant and got to know everybody there. It was so nice to sit at the bar, and have people call me by my name. Over time there were a few girls that I had little childish crushes on. These girls were pretty AND nice to me. A while ago my buddy and I were talking and I found out I'm some what of a laughing stock there. They make fun of me for having the crushes and think I'm a douche. It hurts like hell.

    I told my buddy I got everything I need right here in my tiny room. Some beer, mu bed, and sleeping pills in case I need to sleep. I should have never left my house in search of friends or a girlfriend.
  3. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    :( :hug:

    Thats a sad story, I am sorry. The human need for intimacy is the burden of people like you and me :(

    How old are you if you don't mind me asking?
  4. I'm 35. Staying locked in my tiny room has been like a baby sleeping in it's mother's arms.