So I managed to put things in motion to alleviate the pain of having no future. I managed to start chaning my diet a little, excercising a little, I go to work and I am active, I talk, I have positive energy. But I am so lonely. Here I am at 3:30am and it couldn't be stronger. There are some triggers, that being seeing hearing of other people's relationships. The only time I haven't felt lonely is when I have been in a relationship. Oh well. Also it doesn't help when pretty people are nice to me, fucks with my head, makes me think they want more than what they really do.