Oh my god, everything is going sooooo fast, but the weird thing is I dont feel like killing myself at the moment, I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin, but it's kind of a good feeling, and at the same time terrifying, weird, very weird, I have not idea what is going on, I am trying to just ride it out, debating on wheter or not to go to a friends house, but it is like 2am, not sure who I would wake up, left a message for my doctor and rambled on on and on and on about this, he should be ina round 5 am which is only 3 hours from now, so maybe i will just wait for him to call me back, i dont know, i dont know what to do, i kind of want to go for a drive, just drive, or just I dont know, not a whole lot to do at 2am really......oh my god, this is crazy, i just want to do something, and I dont know what to do! ha ha ha, i think i miht actualy be going nuts finally, wow ,this sucks.