married and alone

[motorman45]

Hi, just here to see if im not alone it things. im a 50 yo married guy with a 7yo boy who is the world to me, my wife offers no emotional support and my son is special needs. my career of 30 years really sucks these last few years. ive been cheated on and had desire for my friends wife looking for some affection. i started to drink more often but dont have a problem with it. walking out of my loveless marriege is not an option, neither is killing myself really but it dosnt stop me from feeling like doing it often especially when my wife is so un supportive.
i dont know what im looking for really other than to post and see what others can relate

 

[WildCherry]

Hi and welcome. :hug: I'm sorry you're feeling so alone, and I hope we can help to at least ease some of that loneliness. I know there are others here who, if not in the exact same situation, are in similar ones. You aren't alone in how you feel or what you're going through.

 

[Acy]

Welcome, motorman45! Sounds like you have lots on your plate. I hope you find friends here who can help support you with the load. :smile:

 

[youRprecious!]

Hi motorman - and a warm welcome to SF. Am very willing to share with you the resources that helped put my marriage back on the right track - we were heading for very similar problems 20 years ago. The best thing is that you can talk/write here about your feelings, open up and ask for support and insights. There are TONS, let me assure you! that is the good news, you don't have to labour away at this on your own - many have been down this road before (I & hubby were one case) - and reaching out - making the search - does come up with stuff!

Have you had a read of William J. Harley's "His Needs Her Needs"? that would be a first step........ It opened a skylight for us, pennies dropped, all sorts of good things started to happen by way of insight

 

[motorman45]

thanks you for the book idea. i still have hope i guess when i hear of others that have nearly lost a partnership and had it come back. its good in some ways although stange as it sounds to hear others having had similar problems. i feel i am too smart to not be able to figure out these relationship problems. i am logical and a scientist but not devoid of love as some may think being so logical. i have tried what i know and its not enough, makes me feel a failure, ive sought out help but it only has made me see i cant effect how someone else feels no matter what i do. that feels helpless.

 

[youRprecious!]

Yes, it does make us feel helpless you are quite right. And it is very humbling to come face to face with the realisation that we do not know all the answers - which is why it's so healing and helpful to seek out what can be done that we do not know already There is absolutely no shame in this, although if we were raised to be stoic and self-sufficient, our echoes might suggest otherwise I am sure you are not devoid of love in the slightest. Is love the domain of only the illogical......... :wink: ? You are doing the most loving and logical thing by being open to learning hun, I wish you all the very best

 

[Wispiwill]

You're not alone. My situation isn't exactly the same as yours but it is similar. I don't have any answers, I'm afraid, but I do understand what it's like to be alone when you feel that you shouldn't be - because there's someone around that's supposed to care. I hope that helps, at least a bit.

 

[isunitab]

i feel neglected

I feel neglected and abused and she does not acknowledge my feelings

 

[-Simon-]

Re: i feel neglected

My gf has her own problems which I know are severe but it's almost as if she's forgotten that she's not the only one with problems. I have to deal with her fallout as well as my own. It's a strange feeling to be in a relationship but still feel alone. Most of the time it feels as though I'm just living with another person, not someone I love and who loves me back. Ultimately I can see myself finally waving goodbye to life but until that point it's just thoughts in my head.