Married but alone

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by blueman, Sep 3, 2009.

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  1. blueman

    blueman Well-Known Member

    Hi. Well, I'm just a guy who has had his fair share (and then some) of bullying at school and in the early days of work life, I've never achieved much and my sense of self-worth is just lately at its lowest. Both my parents are now gone and I've moved with my wife to another country (where she was born). Since moving here I have gone through the culture shock and even been hospitalised in a psychiatric unit for 3 months but still I'm left feeling suicidal every single day. Back in my own country I had heaps of counselling sessions and anti-depressants and nothing seemed to work.
    I'm receiving counselling now in the new country and although it's only the third session I still have little to no hope of finding that sacred and holy 'light at the end of the tunnel'.
    My wife is struggling with the pressures of a new job as well as coming home petrified that I'll be lying in a heap on the floor some day. She's only recently lost her mother too so she's barely had time to grieve herself.

    And YES I've been given the 'you are so selfish!' speech so many times, but isn't it selfish of others to expect me to carry on just to make them feel happier having me around, while leaving me to suffer alone? And no matter how much someone says they understand, they just don't.

    I hope that I can find something in this forum which may give me an inkling of an answer, that shred of light.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    My god only 3 sessions give it time talk therapy does work it has proven it works. I hope you can hold on and just see there is a light at the end of the tunnel. People here have gone through it and are now receiving the benefits of all their hard work. They are stable able to lead productive lifes
    I really feel for your wife and her struggles thank god she is strong for you as well as herself. Perhaps she should think also about getting grief coucilling and support for herself as she must be suffering greatly Give it time to work and if possible get support for your wife. take care.
  3. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    I can semi agree with Violet. People on here are getting help and are better. But others are trying to get help and it's not working. For instince, I have a psychiatrist and is on anti depressants and other pills and it's no where near helping.

    And I can honestly say that it's not selfish. And you are right, people say they know. But they don't know. Hopefully this forum can give you some insight and want to get help. If you ever need to talk, I'm always on here.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Blueman, welcome to sf :shake:
  5. Tray

    Tray Well-Known Member

    Its not selfish. It is your life.

    I think you should keep up with the therapy. Give it some more time. Try and find whats not working for you and change it by all means possible.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums!! I have to agree with violet.. You both can benefit from therapy..It takes time.. I have been seeing mine for four years, And didn't notice any changes in me until she pointed them out..Give it a fair chance..
  7. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum =]

    3 sessions is no where near enough to make judgement. Therapy always helps, if it's not then you just need to find the right therapist. Some work better for you than others. But give it more time, seriously. You'll soon see how much better things will get.
  8. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums :)
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forums. :hug:
  10. Xenos

    Xenos Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF :)
  11. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Welcome to SF!

    I hope you'll give therapy a chance. It really can help, but I know the hardest part is waiting for that to happen. I hope we can help, or at least give you a place to talk and vent. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk.
  12. Animosity

    Animosity Forum & Chat Buddy

    Welcome to SF!! I hope you find the support you're looking for here!
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