Hi. Well, I'm just a guy who has had his fair share (and then some) of bullying at school and in the early days of work life, I've never achieved much and my sense of self-worth is just lately at its lowest. Both my parents are now gone and I've moved with my wife to another country (where she was born). Since moving here I have gone through the culture shock and even been hospitalised in a psychiatric unit for 3 months but still I'm left feeling suicidal every single day. Back in my own country I had heaps of counselling sessions and anti-depressants and nothing seemed to work. I'm receiving counselling now in the new country and although it's only the third session I still have little to no hope of finding that sacred and holy 'light at the end of the tunnel'. My wife is struggling with the pressures of a new job as well as coming home petrified that I'll be lying in a heap on the floor some day. She's only recently lost her mother too so she's barely had time to grieve herself. And YES I've been given the 'you are so selfish!' speech so many times, but isn't it selfish of others to expect me to carry on just to make them feel happier having me around, while leaving me to suffer alone? And no matter how much someone says they understand, they just don't. I hope that I can find something in this forum which may give me an inkling of an answer, that shred of light.