I wish I could be a martyr. To die for some sort of cause. Love? No, I don't "believe" in love, at least romantic love. Faith? In what? Evolution? (Even if it's only a theory. No, no one wants a martyr in science. So what can I die for? The sins of all humankind? That's already been done. A million dollars? But for who? My family? Yeah, but the insurance company won't pay out for a suicide, so it would have to be ruled "accidental." I don't think they have a category for martyrs. Besides, that is just so selfish, it completely defeats the purpose of what I want to die for. Something grand, meaningful, beautiful. I'd like to be the martyr for all beautiful things. Not gay shit like sunrises and sunsets, thats all pollution anyways, and who wants to be a martyr for pollution? I could be the martyr for some grand artist! Yeah, my death could inspire some sort of awesome works! Only problem is I don't think any of my artist friends would care enough. Not good enough friends. Or, perhaps I could write a book and kill myself, I mean that could happen. Afterall any somewhat literate person (like myself) can write. I mean sure, I'm not the next Stephen King or JK Rowlings (hey, maybe they don't write the best prose they just sell a hell of a lot of books, and that's what counts.) I could become a nut job extremist environmentalist and blow myself up with some CEOs of Exxon mobile or Shell . . . . That seems intriguing. But then I'd have to go to like terrorist school or something. Or, worse, somehow be hired by Exxon and work my way up till I got close to the bosses and then BOOM! That'd be waaay to much work. I'm think short term plans here, nothing that'd take up that much time. Maybe I could invent something awesome, like the transporter, think star trek, how friggin' sweet would that be? But then I'd be a mass murderer, and not a martyr. fuck it dude, let's go bowling.