Mas en Caso (Just in Case)

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by LunaShadow, Dec 25, 2012.

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  1. LunaShadow

    LunaShadow Active Member

    In case past this night,
    the last of my strength fades away,
    and my grip on reality
    slips
    and I fall,
    I’ll fight tonight
    with the sanity I have left
    to put something down,
    an apology (it’ll never be enough)
    a goodbye.

    The walls are closing in,
    I fight to breathe,
    push down panic
    the fear
    that overwhelms me.

    And though
    your wings are outstretched, Dragon,
    yours
    and those of our mother angel,
    I shrink away,
    in fear
    in shame,
    I run away,
    because I’m done.

    Sanctuary
    was always meant to be only
    temporary,
    a brief respite
    from pain,
    self-hate.

    Family,
    Safety,
    Hope…
    was never meant to bloom
    here.

    Dragons
    and Angels,
    fairies and creatures of
    the night,
    they were always meant to
    be respected,
    careful with,
    never to feel safe with,
    never to feel kinship with,
    for even an anguished,
    wounded shadow
    can taint these beings
    of light.

    Even these beings,
    so fair,
    so pure
    cannot save someone as
    tainted,
    as lost as me.

    To hope,
    to reach,
    to want to hold on
    during
    these episodes
    so I won’t be
    scared,
    so I won’t lose myself
    in these black waves,

    To want to be held
    within the safety of wings
    leathery, stronger than steel,
    feathery, softer than any child’s blanket,

    To want to be held together
    as the fear
    and misery bleed out of me,
    as wave after wave,
    of emotion
    of agony
    slam into me,
    unrelenting,
    bitter…
    is disgraceful…

    To want to be saved…
    To be spared from insanity
    is,
    has always been,
    will always be
    an impossibility.

    And yet I hoped,
    so on my own, I shattered,
    so on my own I take leave,
    the coward’s way out,

    On my own,
    I’ll walk away and say thank you,
    for letting me feel
    safe,
    like a child,
    for the few moments of innocence,

    I’m sorry,
    for
    being weak,
    for always breaking, no matter how
    hard I tried,

    Goodbye,
    because in the end
    I’m nothing but a burden,
    in the end,
    no matter how much I wish I don’t have to fight
    the loss of will to live,
    in the end,
    I will always
    want to die.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    To want to be saved…
    To be spared from insanity
    is,
    has always been,
    will always be
    an impossibility.

    this is where you are wrong hun there is always hope for healing hun I love your poem your words hun they say so much but the sadness takes away logic hun there is hope i promise so hold on ok to all that is light use the strength of the dragon and magic of the faires hold on until the healing does come ok it will hugs
     
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