Back in the dark place again. Started takin seroxat again it kind of helped for 2week, then I came crashing hard. I was alone a week he was away so called shit of a dad. I loved it was relaxed house was clean n tidy etc he's a dirty slobby pig hate isn't a big enuf word. Stopped meds had a minor blip with alcohol, bulimias same old. OCD is severe. Everydays the same, cleanin after tht pig the dogs and myself. The meds merely masked the misery. Pathetic. I wish I could escape if not forever. I'm so tired but its neverending he does nothing n nothing right. Useless can't even wash a pot cos he's tight n darent run hot water so just dips the pots in dirty water n puts them away with muck n food still on. VILE Hate it hate him hate my mother hate my whole family. HATE. I don't know, if only I had something. Sometimes I miss past friendships & my only relationship. But even wen I was ill they never helped. At my lowest of lows I find it more distressing the fact tht I have no one to turn to. No one to listen, no consolation no comfort no nothing. Pains me.