Sorry to trouble you all, but I'm seriously feeling on the verge of a massive meltdown. Too many things going on and thru my mind already then when I got home I got more horrible news - as if I could handle anymore atm (cuz I CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!). I told my therapist today that I just want to disappear although at the time I wasn't sure what I meant by that. Now I'm drawing closer to an idea, and it's not the ideal option especially with my daughters bday in a few days. Not sure how I'm gonna keep it together, and honestly not sure I can. I can't reach out anymore to professionals here (IRL) due to recent circumstances, and due to the news I received today. My chest (left side) began hurting while in my therapy appt, and it seemed to ease up some while the nurse was taking my BP (at my therapists request). My BP while in the appt was 174/94, and while that's not good for anyone it's especially dangerous for me due to other health issues. I'll call my cardiologists office to see about taking more of my BP meds, but I can't keep going down this road, either!!!!! I'm sick of anything and everything atm!!!!