Masturbation and how I kicked the habit.

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by cloud9, Jan 16, 2010.

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  1. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member

    I felt that masturbation used to be an addiction for me. I did it on a regular basis, almost everyday. It was a habit that I looked forward to, but then felt crummy after for doing it. A waste of time. It even brought me to pornography because it made the experience all the more enjoyable. Masturbation was something that simply intensified my desires for women. It made me lustful and I hated that.

    I feel the reason why I got so overwhelmed and addicted to this habit was due to my cultural and religious traditions. I'm not supposed to date and the way we do things is built on this concept of segregation and keeping guys/girls separate. While I didn't date and kept no meaningful friendships with girls on the surface, it drove me insane inside. In secret I'd watch pornography and masturbate to satisfy those animalistic desires. Thinking back I felt like an animal. It was the only way I could cope.

    So how did I *beat* it. I had tried many times before, but I kept coming back to it. I couldn't resist. What changed this time around was my approach. I tried dealing with the underlying problem, my interactions with girls. Mind you I'm still having tonnes of trouble interacting with girls now. I hope to get better. I just became better friends with them. When in the past I wouldn't hang out with them or talk to them, I changed that behaviour. I still feel like a kid when it comes to these things. I don't know how to get closer to a girl, ask one out on a date, let a girl know that I like them. However, the fact that I just increased my time spent with them made giving up the habit easier. I haven't masturbated in six months. This basically began right when I began getting to know some of the girls in my program at uni. Of course there have been some unsuspecting consequences. I have a mad crush on one of the girls in my program and I can't seem to get her off my mind, but I think that's still one better than masturbating.

    I wonder what are all your thoughts and experiences?
  2. Dharma4815162342

    Dharma4815162342 Well-Known Member

    Honestly, I'm totally addicted to masturbation. I can't stop myself, its like whenver I'm alone I just do it, without even thinking and then afterwards I'm like oh shit! not again. I'm glad you found a way to kick the habit. I have guy friends and even have physical contact with alot of them. I dont' know why I'm so addicted and I have no idea how to get rid of it for myself. Thanks for sharing your experience
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I dont think masturbation is a bad habit...just like anything else too much of a good thing can turn out problematic...when masturbating keeps you from living then it is a problem...but I dont think that masturbating should be treated as something wrong and bad...society is already harsh on that subject...saying its bad when it isnt...

    masturbating helps you understand your body and your pleasure helps release good chemicals in your brain and body...many benefits come from masturbation...

    when I masturbate, I feel a release afterwards and like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I feel good afterwards...but I dont do it everyday and it doesnt occupy my mind 24/7...

    I'm glad that you were able to find the right way for you...
  4. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    I don't think masturbation is a bad habit or that it is addictive (unless you do it more than twice a day, every day) as it is a natural urge. It's all well and good if you think otherwise, and to me it seems to be just another facet of control when religions stop you from masturbating, as if loving your body was a bad thing. Besides, i don't think it's healthy to let sexual tension build up without any relief or release (disregarding sex).

    Also, since we evolved from animals, what's wrong with being animalistic once in a while?
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 16, 2010
  5. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Daily masturbation, even masturbating multiple times in a day every day, is not usually a problem unless it causes psychological problems for you (as is the case for the poster). It actually has physical health benefits (increased heart rate is good for your heart, and regular ejaculation improves prostate health) and generally improves psychiatric state by providing a stress release.

    With that said, congratulations on achieving self-control, 23. It's important to stop any behaviour that causes anxiety.
  6. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Yes, i curse the day i found my first playboy! But but the girls are so lovely... :huh:

    Me mind on fire -- Me soul on fire -- Feeling hot hot hot :D
    Party people -- All around me feeling hot hot hot
    What to do - On a night like this :D
    Music sweet - I can't resist

    So we go rum-bum-bum-bum
    Yeah we rum-bum-bum-bum
    Feeling hot hot hot -- Feeling hot hot hot - oh Lord :D
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 16, 2010
  7. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your thoughts.

    I guess masturbation isn't particularly a bad thing especially because of the health benefits posted above. I guess its really just depends on the person. If its getting in the way of your life, its better to stop it. If its not then enjoy those health benefits!
  8. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I just do it out of obligation as a teenage boy.

    I draw little enjoyment out of it.
  9. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    If people want to, then I don't see what's wrong with it. It's not a bad thing, even if society makes it out to be. Just, maybe too much of a good thing can be bad, I guess...

  10. yorkie bar

    yorkie bar Well-Known Member

    Ermmmm Whats wrong with masturbation?

    Onlly because soceity says its wrong!

    All things in moderation ...............................................

  11. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Wow! Congrats to you, 23! ><

    I've figured that I always used sex as my vice and the only way I could get rid of all of the physical stress that builds in me daily- just being around people. (with me being such a nervous wreck for years and years...)
    Now that I don't have a boyfriend though-- going from sex 2-3 times a day to...none... for the last 6 months... has been really rough on me both physically and mentally. I've thought of all possible underlying problems-- but honestly just think I need it to be there, since there's no other fix for me in sight. :blink:
    I suppose it's a slightly different problem and fix for everyone.

    If it's something that disrupts your every day life and doesn't make you feel good afterwards-- it's a problem.
    I'm glad you've done something to make you feel better about it.
    Keep it up!
  12. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    I enjoy it actually. I don't take any pornographic behaviour into the real world, e.g. view girls wrongly, of course if she's really appealing I'll think that but I won't view her as a piece of sex. I only do it to let my urges out, after I finish I completely forget about it.
  13. DownInAHole

    DownInAHole Active Member

    What the heck was God thinking when He invented the penis.

    The unholiest tool in the known Universe.
  14. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I think it's disgusting and don't ever do it. If I did I don't think I'd be able to face people without feeling ashamed; I often feel like people can read my mind and that they'd see right through me and know all my secrets. This doesn't make much of a difference though, as whenever I tell someone I don't ever do that they always think I'm lying anyway.

    Well done for not doing it for that long, I think for some men though it can be very difficult because the body tells them when to do it? I'm not a man so I don't understand entirely, but congratulations!! :smile:
  15. Escapist

    Escapist Well-Known Member

    I'll be honest. Uhm, I've not been in alot of contact with girls myself. Though regardless of that, I don't find myself masturbating everyday, due these desires. The way of doing it, disgusts me, and i'm quite against it.

    Well yes, I know. It's nature, and perfectly normal for men to do it. Though, unlike most males, I avoid doing it, which requires a rather great will and determination. And still it's not always that easy.

    While, I'm being called a pervert or a disgusting shit. For doing it once, every month even. And even though, I rather get rid of it completely. It's not always as easy. Yet, this is misunderstood. Girls often think that men get turned on from the littlest pornographic thing, which isn't true at all. I find it rather stupid, to be judged as a pervert due those things, or to be seen as one, for not being able to hold myself completely in.

    As I said, and you probably know "Thread owner". It's something that poses as quite difficult. And that's a part which gets misunderstood.

    The reason that I don't do it on a daily base is because the uhm, stuff gets worse if you do it often like that, which makes it more difficult to get someone pregnant. I've read that somewhere, though. Before, you all, go like. "WOAH How'd u know!?!?!?!!? DDDD:" Anyhow, people should realise that masturbation doesn't make one a pervert or a disgusting freak. Though if I say that, it's never acceptable.

    Anyhow, I rather didn't masturbate at all, as it's just sick. This ís my opinion however, I am not thinking bad of anyone else who does it. It's just there are so many other things to do instead of that, that I find it to be utterly pointless, meaningless, and well a waste of time. Regardless of how I get seen or how much as I am going to be entitled as a damn liar. It's the truth, and I wish someone in particular could freaking see that by now. [No offense meant to any of you]

    Nontheless, I respect you for being able to control it fully. Kudos. :]
  16. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    I don't see what the problem is. Masturbation is normal, healthy, pleasurable and private. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it and nothing disgusting about it, if you are without a negative opinion. It also releases tension and stress. If you were brought up thinking that it's bad or gross then I can understand your trepidation, or disgust. Otherwise, I don't see what the fuss is about.

    Nobody should ever be made to feel bad about a natural and private activity that nearly all of us indulge in.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 18, 2010
  17. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    now that is a myth. Why would it be hard to get someone pregnant by masturbating alot? Do you know how many sperms are produced daily???

    The number of sperm cells produced varies with the size of the testicles, but averages 85 million sperm per day per testicle, and decreases with age. This means that a single male may produce more than a quadrillion (1,000,000,000,000) sperm cells in his lifetime!

    so unless you naturally dont have alot of sperm there's no reason you can't impregnate a girl (unless she can't have children)

    there are so many myths on masturbation to keep people from doing it, its ridiculous...this comes from religion who decided to lie about masturbation and made a panflet that said things like you would go blind, you would grow hairy palms, you would get mental diseases and die etc...or your sperm count would be waisted etc...

    here's a link to what I'm talking about:
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 18, 2010
  18. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    What I read here is, that you viewed girls/women as sexual objects only. So you used porn.

    Then, you got a few girl friends so "girls" didn't become this off-limit, object area that you saw as only sexual (sexual as in porn- sexual). They became less of an object to you.

    Then you found your compulsion to masturbate to porn, or view women in one way only, eased off a bit. To me, it sounds like displaced anxiety. You were anxious about women, didn't have any contact, then porn/sexual objectification was your outlet.

    It's nothing amazing. I can tell you 'there's nothing wrong with masturbation or feeling lustful or animalistic or fucking' for men or women, but that's just my belief. Denying that can just heighten anxiety/compulsion and the tendency for addiction- in your case, porn and compulsive masturbation?

    You have a crush on a girl, how would you feel imagining yourself with her, I'm sure it must go through your mind? And if you do masturbate, would you envision yourself as you did with women in pornography, or how you saw women before, or would you see her differently? Is it possible for you to see masturbation as self love, connecting to oneself and another, and in the context of love, rather than secretive, shameful masturbation to porn?
  19. nos nomed

    nos nomed Well-Known Member

    Humans and primates have the ability to actually enjoy sex unlike most animals. I think if it was such a disgraceful or dirty act we wouldn't enjoy it. To the people who think its disgusting do you also think anything besides missionary position sex is dirty? The release calms carnal urges which allow us to function easier in society alot of times. It releases stress and makes you feel good if we didn't I bet you would see alot more men fighting constantly from built up tension and testosterone. Religions like to make it out as giving in to sin and dirty because religions like to control every aspect of peoples lifes, if you aren't totally submissive you might question what you are being preached.

    It's only a problem when someone can't control their urges at all or enjoy doing it in public.
  20. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    The funny thing is there is no biblical reference against masturbation. If there is show it to me. But I know that feeling OP. But I think my guilt was more tied up into my funky legalistic religious beliefs than anything else. It is natural. Animals do it. We are sexual beings. But if by not masturbating it has made you happier then kudos.
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