I'm dying, have endless problems, can't breathe even most of the time. Tried Cpap machines when I sleep they just choke me and dry me out. Oxygen is really hard to use and drys me out till I end up choking. Can't have stools hardly at all, and my urine keeps backing up where I have to use cathaters to pee. Plus a slew of other things, just the lack of oxygen should have done me in by now. But at the same time I can't stop masturbating. My sex energy isn't that great either. The first time I do it, it takes a couple of minutes. But I'm not satisfied with that. So I'll keep masturbating four hours to go off again. Most of the time, my penis won't be hard for most of the second or even third orgasim. But I can't stop, it's like the only thing that gives me pleasure, and let's me blank out all my problems. I've had lots of girlfriends when I was well. But can't even be around anyone since I got sick like this. I could call over a prostitute I suppose, but I am staying with my parents as I can't take care of myself, and am just basicly waiting to die. I know this sounds awful and totally embarassing. The only reason I'm writing it is because I don't care about anything, as I"m totally depressed and not going to be around much longer. I think the sex urge is the last thing to go. I remember an old family friend that had brain cancer up at the hospital. He was walking out in the hall playing with himself just before he died. My sadness knows no bounds.