couples left and right holding hands , friends in cars and walking together having fun , man and his wife w. kids on an outing being happy and then. me . alone , i already knew that i was but today was the day that i truely felt and saw how lonely i was . the other day one of my co-workers came into the break room at work and called me "ugly ass" , its true that i am and that's another thing that makes me lose hope. i'll never find someone to be with. i've tried to get girls but i just can't . everyone is too damn shallow. i have no idea what i really want to do in life, my depression and lack of love and fun + friends makes it hard to get motivated to do anything. the only things that's keeping me alive / preventing me from ending it all are my nieces and nephews , but even that reason is wearing out for me . i just gave up at work today i didn't really try and work just thought and thought , saw everyone being happy , it was hard holding in my tears and keeping my sadness from showing. makse me wish the times i had actually tried to end it really did end it . the way i see my life is , one i become successful and make it out in life and do have the things i wanted all along or i'll be miserable all my life not having the things i need and want in life / just end opting out.