maybe i need some help

I failed my exam which is very unexpected from everyone. I thought i have pulled myself out from the sadness ( i even joke with my friends about the failure), but i found out that i'm still stuck in between the sadness and felt really lost. These too makes me thought about all the bad things happening in my life and i am very tired of them.

i felt i've always made troubles for people,disappointing them. i does not know is it still me or is it the 'me' that i want to become.i does not know how to find myself. i am tired of seeking...

 

I really can relate to what youre saying. Im fighting right now to be the best and positive part of me.
That negative part is not worth it. I know this is general crap but i hope it helps. Life isn't all negative, it's great and fun and beautiful and right here. No matter what, even when we're in the shit.
Hard to see though. Sometimes my thoughts just clump together from one negative thing and take a dominence.

Talking about the better parts of your life and what you want will help I think. If you need to talk about the bad parts, feel free, there are loads of people here that are exceptionally good at helping people see the better side of things. No matter what, lifes worth it and so are you.

 

Hello and welcome to the forums,

Failing sometimes is normal as no one of us can be perfect, we all fail at some stage - i want you to keep trying - can you resit this exam in a couple of weeks maybe? Also how important was this exam?

 

The exam is very important to prove to people and myself of who I am. The comment on the report was rather disappointed as it challenged me on my thinking or personality which i had try to build up for years. I does not know who i should be?
i might try it next year. It's only offered twice a year. I does not know how should i face my friends, family and those who believe in me. I does not know how should I trust their encouraging words. Maybe i just felt too insecure with socializing

 

i feels that my days are getting worst and worst after the result. It is the final study week now and i am still in the same situation. My temper is getting worst and i made a lot of complain to my housemate. And things also get worst when she personally attack me through facebook comment. I want to get out of this situation, i'm sick of reminding people to do stuff and apology. i'm just so sick of it. Mood swings everyday, I need to get out of this life. I think i am a failure

 

hi
Welcome to SF. I am glad you are here. We are not our failures. Everyone does fail. But if we are judging ourselves according to our failures, then it is sort of important to try to find some help. Especially since you say that you do not know who you are. Thats not uncommon by the way. Especially for younger people who feel they need to do well or else they are not okay.

I think that getting help is a very smart thing to do. For each of us, it can help to better understand who we are. To overcome feelings of insecurity etc. I think its a very smart thing, indeed.

Is there a way that you know of that you can find some help and support where you live to figure out who you are? We are called "human beings" for a reason. Not human doings. We are much much more than what we do or do not achieve. Again, I am glad you are here. I hope you will keep posting. :hug: :flowers:

 

thanks for all the reply, i'm glad that someone out there that's willing to listen to my untold story.

Recently,it is getting harder and harder to control my emotion. I got angry very fast that I have the feeling of hurting myself, I doesn't know where my anger should go. I start to thought of stabbing people to relieve my anger, but this is very uncomfortable. Bad feelings just stuck inside, I can't breath...I can't cry, I does not know who can soothe me, I just feel pain inside.

I keep complaining on people and I can't stop myself from worrying everything. I'm worst to extreme. Seeing people living around me are all happy made me pain.

 

just want to share my feelings here today.

The puppies and dog are gone...and forever i won't see them again. Although they are not mine, but i've been taking care for them for so long, I don't expect this kind of ending...I want them back, I want them to mess around, I want to hug them and I really love them a lot. How should i live without them around, this house will be quiet, very quiet.

i've made such a stupid decision, i should be blame for my sufferings now, i'm wrong, i'm selfish, i hate myself for doing stupid thing and now i receive the consequences. i hate myself

 

Hey there, you should know that, it's a fact that everything happens for reasons. And there must be plenty of reasons why you are feeling so bad right now to the point of hating yourself. But that's the point of life. Sometimes, we have to experience these things in order to grow. How old are you by the way? I think you're still in a phase where you are having difficulty identifying yourself. Don't worry. I'm having quite a hard time to. You're not alone on this. Hope you feel better though.

 

i'm in my 20s
i managed to cope well with myself before. i'm able to hold myself through although things happen.
But recently it's just too much, i breakdown. i guess failure in the exam is the primary causes of this. I'm unable to determine myself, my value and my direction, everything seems lost. The 'me' that i've built up for so long just collapse in one day. I got better sometime but usually it gets worst. i feel like i want to run away from all this, stop my life temporary and go to somewhere else. But i'm not able to, there are still works to be done, stress to faced everyday...they are tolling me down

i tried to control myself from weeping, but i cant.

 

Hi ?I?,

Tough exam results... Hmm.. Well, I was just wondering if you have considered getting a few new dogs to take care of or raise. I love dogs too, and it seems like you had built a rapport with those dogs you took care of for a long time. :hugtackles:

Alex

 

i did not realise i love them so much till they are gone. i felt a total emptiness in my soul, like i'm not belonged anymore. i'm now a living empty shell trying to get past everyday,on and off with my emotion.

But sadly, i couldn't take care of any dog now. I don't have the time and helper. i couldn't get past myself if i did not take care of them well, i feel guilty. I've been a dog-lover since i'm young but sadly parent won't allow because of the responsibility we need to have towards the dog. Right now, I sort of own a dog, but they were sent away. i'm heartbroken

 

Aww.. I'm a dog lover too; I'm so sorry that there are obstacles in your way although you want a dog. :hugtackles:

 

I definitely know how you feel. That feeling when you are pressured, right? Seems like a lot of people are expecting things from you and you have to comply them or else you will feel disappointed and unsatisfied. I guess the exams you said you were failing are really bothering you. But let me ask you, do you really love what you are doing? Because if you really want something you'll do everything to attain that no matter how difficult it is. You should never stop trying. There are many ways to cope with disappointments. Just be positive all the time and believe in yourself. No one is perfect so you must try to understand that everybody creates mistakes even the most successful ones.

 

Another sharing of today feeling

I've been telling so much lies. I've made so much promise and yet i can't do it. I sacrificed something in return to another. I need balance between both yet i cant achieve it. Why...??? and How??? is my life have to be filled with disappointment? Life is getting harder and harder, and i'm going away further and further than myself

 

?I?
I am sorry that things are so hard for you right now. Just hang on there. Okay? Because things can get better in ways that we could never imagine. :hug: :hugtackles:

 

It is ok to break down and cry. It is ok to have feelings of failing when a test result was going to determine the future. It is ok to fail a test. There are lawyers who take the bar exam many times. It is ok. The faillure of this test does not determine your future in the long run.

You can take the test again. I understand your feelings and embarrassment.

It sounds like a roommate who owned dogs moved out because of something you said. Living with roommates is very difficult; you will get over the pain of losing the dogs; please know the pain will leave, and it sounds like it is better that person is not there causing frustration.

If you find your mood swings are rapid and uncontrollable, seek help. If you are having thoughts of stabbing people, seek help; share you thoughts with a professional. Do not share them with friends.

If possible, remove sugar and soda from your diet for a while; consider increasing vegetables and fruits.

You are young and it is very hard to have a dream destroyed because of a test. However, you can take the test again; a year is not that long. Many, many people fail tests; I have failed tests; it does not mean anything final or that important really. I know it hurts; time will go by and the pain will lessen.

Please seek professional help and share your thoughts.