Maybe I should go

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Golden, Jan 10, 2011.

  1. Golden

    Golden Member

    Exams for university starting in about 2 days and I'm already certain I'm going to fail. It's just too much and it's pointless to even try anymore. I also have no one to fall back on, no friends, no support from parents and my brother is just annoying and unhelpful.

    So much is at stake but I can't handle it. This was supposed to be my only chance for university education but if I fail, my parents won't support me financially anymore. I understand their point of view and I could try to get a job but I'm so socially inept and awkard, I don't even know how to start. I guess I need to grow a pair but it's just too much for me. I'm scared of my future.

    The fact that every dream of mine is about death or the afterlife in some way for about 2 weeks doesn't make it easier, it just confuses me even more. I like to read books in my spare time but that's just escaping reality, it doesn't help one bit.
  2. SweetTearsOfDeath

    SweetTearsOfDeath Well-Known Member

    Hey there. I can understand where you are coming from... Don't hurt yourself. You are a wonderful person behind all of your awkward-ness. I have social anxiety and I get scared of people. I'm afraid of having a job because I have to interact with people. I met with my mother's psychiatrist and she prescribed me a very small dosage of a relaxer... Wow. It completely changed me. I understand the feeling of having no one to lean back on. I feel the same exact way. When I get stuck, I have no one to turn to. When something is bothering me, I have no one to talk to. It takes a little bit of effort to go out and try to meet new people, it's hard to make new friends and try to be social. One thing you can do to to sort of let the steam off... If just go outside for a walk. A slow walk... Look at all of the things and just think. Don't worry about school or troubles. Just walk. Look at the flowers, or the grass, or the mood, or the birds, or anything that you see.
    If you need some one to talk to, please, you can always talk to me. I love helping people out and talking. Be careful.