Maybe I'm not paranoid, maybe it's all real

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Greenforest, May 11, 2007.

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  1. Greenforest

    Greenforest Well-Known Member

    That's what I fear. I lay my trust on paranoia. It makes me feel better when I say to myself: "you're just paranoid, it's inside your head, there's nothing really".

    But what if it's all real?

    All the people on the streets who know me and laugh at me, they're all true. For some strange reason they're all interested of me, they spend their days talking about me, laughing at me.

    They're so big group of friends that at least one of them always sees me on a day, though for me they're always complete strangers.


    Did I ask this? Is this what my life is ment to be? To suffer, suffer and fucking suffer?

    Where is God? There is no, otherwise it would've help me. Sometimes I feel I'm feeling better, but that same sick interest of all those people towards me stays.

    Why am I writing this though no one even reads this or cares? Why can't I be spending my time with friends right now? Why can't I enjoy that summer outside?

    Fuck this all.
  2. Azul

    Azul Well-Known Member

    it's a thinking mistake. Everyone has his or her own life going. to strangers you're just another passerby.
  3. The title of this thread fits my situation right now perfectly, so I don't have to make a new thread. Since I have no life outside of my home really, my paranoia pertains to the net sites I visit & used to visit. I used to spend all my time posting at one forum. Then I got into a small arguement with one mod. The words used on the mod's part were pretty harsh so I left said forum for another, to talk to other people who share my interests. But one forum advertised for another. So I'm thinking that people at the 1st forum are monitoring my actions/posting at the new forum. Now I don't know what to do, these forums are like rivals & I feel like I have to choose one over the other, like I can't just spend a little time at each or they will consider me a double-agent. I feel like they want me to choose. It's rediculous..... couldn't possibly be true. That's what I keep telling myself.
    But it's entirely possible and is causing me severe paranoia. I feel that if I don't choose they'll think less of me for it. I can't just ask both forum's what the hell is going on, I know what's going on. I'm an active member and that is what forums are looking for, you can't have fun running a place without active members. I don't know why I care so much about this situation, except for the fact that I'm comfortable at both forums and can't really choose one over the other right away. And if I just leave both I'll have no one to talk to who likes what I like as much as I do if not more. No one seems to like what I like in life so the net sites about what I like are the only life I currently have.
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