Maybe just very alone

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#1
I was awake all last night...I didn't want to sleep. I ended up dancing with 'no one' for about 3 hours in my bedroom last night. I had wanted to kill myself last night and I'm normally very logical, but I think that dancing was the first obvious physical manifestation of the fact something inside me has always wanted a girl, while the rest of it has said 'how can you expect to get a girlfriend if you dont go out/ look at you! pathectic (etc), why would a girl like you' etc etc...I'm kind of confused by this. I know I've always had that feeling and I've kind of felt that they are just slightly abnormally stronger then they should be...and i think they contribute to my want to not live....but i dont know....maybe i'm losing it?
 

Speedy

Staff Alumni
#2
Hi E.D.,

Welcome back to SF! :) I've danced in my bedroom at night with the lights turned off.. I always put headphones or earphones in so I have music from the radio to listen to while doing so; otherwise, I would have felt all the more lonely.

When I couldn't sleep during the school year during high school junior year, for example, I would maybe let out some energy dancing (even though I wouldn't dance in public EVER!) and then relax and go to bed (relaxation stuff - meditating etc.). I don't think you're losing it; you probably, like many of us here, don't think highly of yourself.

Regards,

Mr. A
 
#3
Hiya there!

surly it inst that odd to dance alone,, I do it all the time. Rough when you cant sleep though.

i dunno about the whole love thing to be honest, too many variables! what ifs exc,,,,, its all just so confusing atm.

going out and getting a life........ dont be so hard on yourself, sometimes we need time to gather our thoughts and understand ourselves before we can invite anyone else into the equation. wouldn't be fair to get someone and bring them into a life where chaos rules (dunno that's just me, hopefully your not so chaotic)

:biggrin: good luck with it all though and I really hope you are feeling better soon:hugtackles:
 

johnnysays

Well-Known Member
#4
I was awake all last night...I didn't want to sleep. I ended up dancing with 'no one' for about 3 hours in my bedroom last night. I had wanted to kill myself last night and I'm normally very logical, but I think that dancing was the first obvious physical manifestation of the fact something inside me has always wanted a girl, while the rest of it has said 'how can you expect to get a girlfriend if you dont go out/ look at you! pathectic (etc), why would a girl like you' etc etc...I'm kind of confused by this. I know I've always had that feeling and I've kind of felt that they are just slightly abnormally stronger then they should be...and i think they contribute to my want to not live....but i dont know....maybe i'm losing it?
When things don't work out, we usually like to turn to stereotypes or the easiest thing to blame. It's comparable to racism, in a way. For a guy that's alone, it's easy for him to blame his failures on his inability to find girls. But a lot of times, it's just us finding a convenient target for our anger. Misplaced anger is dangerous because it can make you do inappropriate things. My opinion, ofc.

Girls seem like a good idea when you don't have to smell em or deal with em. There's that too. You don't have to dig far to find people who break up, marriages that crash and burn, relationships that start big and end fast.

"Love hurts" - Nazareth 76':
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soDZBW-1P04
 
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Forgotten_Man

Well-Known Member
#5
Nothing wrong with finding a way to burn off energy before bed. Sometimes I stand up and pace and rant into the dark.

:mhmm: The best part about being a man is that it is really easy to become physically attractive. Always remember, practice makes perfect. I am sure you could have as many girlfriends as you wanted. However, remember guys approach girls so they won't come to you.
 
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