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Maybe, maybe not

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Terra, Jul 9, 2010.

  1. Terra

    Terra Well-Known Member

    Not quite sure where to put this...

    I've been depressed lately, but too good at hiding it. I have no clue what I'm depressed about, I just am, and that makes me frustrated and even more depressed. Good luck talking to someone about your problems if you don't know what the problems is.
    unconciosly I made my best sketch book into something secret. A book of death... not my own though. Ideas, methods, reasons, rules and so on. This scares me, 'cuz I don't dislike or hate anyone, but I want to make them dissapear. It's not people I know, mostly because it would be an annoyance to attend to funerals and so on, but also because it would be easier to make mistakes.
    I don't take the book too serious, I mainly pick it up because it's so beatiful on the outside (hard-back, red leather and with magnetic shutter and gold edges <3). But right now all that is missing is a better physice and reasons to convince myself that it would be ok to take a life. The reasons have become the main thought for whenever i feel down. What makes a human unworthy, and I haven't found anything, yet I'm scared that if I have a really bad day, that it'll all make sense.

    meh, probably just over thinking it, not like I'll grow rich or muscles over night anyways lol
  2. Prof.Bruttenholm

    Prof.Bruttenholm Well-Known Member

    All lives are wastes, so you don't need to rationalize anything.

    People think that life has purpose, but it doesn't

    It's an unquantifiable phenomenon.

    It's overrated.
  3. UnkelHeit

    UnkelHeit Well-Known Member

    I've had some of the same thoughts. We're different because I have a lot of anger and hate. There's so many people that I see as unworthy of being here. I believe, though, that no person has the right to make the decision whether someone lives or dies. You might not take it seriously now but it could grow and get out of control. Those are dangerous thoughts you're having if you're not really sure where they're coming from.

    At the least it sounds like you have clinical depression. There doesn't have to be anything to be depressed about. You should seek some help. It's nothing to be ashamed of or anything. It's an illness.
  4. Lokiy2142

    Lokiy2142 New Member

    Next time you pick up your book, maybe think about not the content of the book, but simply the appearance. You said its a beautiful book, completely unique to you, and outstanding in every way =] Just close your eyes and think about the silver lining (or gold in your case) of every little thing. Even the dark, emptiness, unknown that is death has something worth smiling about. Close your eyes and think about those smiles, those beautiful things in life that will make you think a happy thought or give out a small giggle =) If you wanna know how to look for everything beautiful in life, everything worth being happy for, i'd suggest 'Becoming Chloe' (its a book XP) by Catherine Ryan Hyde, or just simply watch Zombieland over and over and over again =]

    Yes, life may not have a meaning, but thats all the more reason to go out and give it one.