Maybe someone can help me here..?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by triforce, Apr 6, 2007.

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  1. triforce

    triforce Member

    Because I'm posting this, it must mean I have some small hope that I can be saved.
    I feel worthless, alone, and pathetic. I want to end my life, because, simply, it hurts and I don't like it. Maybe I don't understand the gravity of my thoughts or the permanence of my actions. But what I feel is real, and I KNOW some part of me does not want to die.

    Will someone please respond..? I don't want sympathy, just someone to talk to. Perhaps I can prolong my existence long enough to appreciate it.

    xoxo
     
  2. Sorrow

    Sorrow Well-Known Member

    You aren't alone. I think a lot of people here feel that way. What's wrong? I'm here if you want someone to talk to.
     
  3. triforce

    triforce Member

    Thanks for responding.
    Well, I've been depressed on-and-off for years. My mum died last November, and it's been causing me to..re-assess. I just don't feel like I want to live anymore.
     
  4. Sorrow

    Sorrow Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about your mom. That must be really hard. What else is going on in your life?
     
  5. I Miss You

    I Miss You Guest

    im sorry hon...i am your friend and i will always be here for you...


    you are not alone...

    if you have MSN messenger my email address is:

    IMissU34@hotmail.com
     
  6. triforce

    triforce Member

    Heh, not much. I do have one best friend, but I haven't seen her in like 9 months, as she lives far away.
    I think everyday life-mundanity, redundancy-keeps wearing me down bit by bit.
    School, video games (^_^), my sisters..
    I'm dealing with my mom's death, but it's causing me to have this weird thought that has some truth to it : that everyone I allow myself to get close to leaves. My grandfather I was really close to as a child died, my first real best friend moved away, the first person I really, really liked-maybe loved-moved, and now my mom is dead. Because of this, I've shut myself down emotionally.
    Thanks for listening, and responding so quickly. :smile:

    (love your avatar, by the way)
     
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the forum triforce. I am sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. You are going through the grieving process and this can take awhile as I am sure you know. Try not to shut yourself down. It may cause you to crash later. Allow yourself to feel things. You can post them here if you have nowhere to share them or vent. We are very good listeners here. I hope you begin to feel better shortly. :hug:
     
  8. Sorrow

    Sorrow Well-Known Member

    I can relate to some of what you say, everyday being the same, losing people you care about that's hard. I understand why you wouldn't want to get close to people when they will just go away, but just because people have left in the past doesn't mean that others won't stick around. Why haven't you seen your best friend in so long? I'm happy to listen anytime about whatever.
     
  9. triforce

    triforce Member

    Well, she (my best friend) moved away on my thirteenth birthday. It's been almost two years since then. I see her about one week a year, in the summer. I know my logic about everyone leaving me is flawed, but I can't help but being afraid to be vulnerable. My family would be surprised to know I'm even on a suicide support website, because as far as they know, I'm perfectly happy. Thank you loads, I Miss You, gentlelady and Sorrow; you've made me feel a lot better, and relieved. Thank you for understanding, caring, and listening.
     
  10. bono

    bono Well-Known Member

    Woot zelda ftw! Honestly I use those old 8bit Legend of Zelda theme song to help pick me when my mood is down. There lots of zelda music on limewire.

    ~Bono the uppity Canadian with a floopy head and beady little eyes.
     
  11. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    OMG I LOVE everything about Zelda!!!

    I have played every console Zelda! Today, I JUST finished Twilight Princess, which made me sad, because it will be so long before another Z comes around :(

    I am so very very sorry about your Mother...my Dad died when I was 16, and it damn near killed me...I was so sad :(

    But the good news is this...Someday soon, you will think of your Mom, and not cry, not be sad, not want to die. You will think of her and laugh at the things she used to do, the stuff she said, the way she was...and you will feel happy knowing that she is in Heaven and that you WILL see her again.

    PM me if you want, because I totally understand how it feels to lose a parent and it )to put it plainly) just sucks.

    You'll be O.K., because you seem like a great, strong person.

    Take care of yourself, and let me know if you need help or just a chat :)
     
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