Maybe three is a charm?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SierraLynnSays, Mar 6, 2014.

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  1. I tried ODing at age eleven and again at age fourteen. I'm now twenty and have never felt an urge as strong as this since when I was fourteen. I've been supporting my boyfriend for 2, emotional...anything and everything. I've caught him many times on dating sites and chatting with girls saying he is single and looking for sex. He has cam sex and trades pictures. I don't know if he's actually had physical sex. Everytime I find out something with the obvious proof right there...he denies it and calls me insane. He only admitted it on three occasions. I loved him...he won't stop and I am scared that I will always love him. It's so hard being traumatized by sex and knowing you can't please your boyfriend. I am breaking up with him but what's after that?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    All i can say is good for you for walking away from such a toxic person YOU deserve better ok what after leaving him well you look for someone that will respect you and love you and not harm you like he is doing You stand tall and you take care of YOU hun hugs
  3. :) Thank you for your words.
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    What is left after you break up with him? The possibility of happiness - the chance to move on and find somebody that will respect you and love you that you do not need to provide all support for but instead can mutually support each other. A chance to devote some of your emotional energy to yourself as well as more of your own financial resources to things to improve your life..... There is a lot left for you once you stop giving so much to somebody that does not deserve it.
  5. Cat of Spades

    Cat of Spades Well-Known Member

    It seems to me that you are with someone that you are not compatible with, the optimal solution is to find a man that you would be able to be with, without reservation or issue. The first step towards reaching this goal is to terminate your current relationship that is not satisfying the man, nor is it satisfying you. Such a relationship can yield no fruit. From then on out, you need to keep an open mind and maybe you will be able to find a man that you can treat correctly and that treats you correctly in return.

    Potential happiness is not far away, stay positive.
  6. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    ((Lynn)) you deserve better for damn sure.. Hope you and him find each other soon and do have a longlasting great life together.. Ditch current slob and start a lookin'
  7. Thanks for all the support. As those are the obvious solutions.. I did break up with him. The thing that scares me is that the reason why I probably can't be be loved/in love is the mental and neglectful abuse for the first fourteen years of my life has caused me to trust no one and sex is extremely...complicated for me. Being treated like you're just a toy from the age of 6-14 fucks with you. It's not just this current boyfriend situation but there is so much emotional baggage that getting close to anyone/them getting close to me is distant. Truly, not leaving him before now is primarily based on he was one person who knew everything about what I've been through and the strides in life that are typically normal/contended for most people are mental battles for me. Eh not to dwell now.
    Thank you for the support :)
  8. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Lynn, my childhood also left with no trust at all of the human animal.. This lasted forever.. Finally met a person like me..too much like me I guess..we had a son and lived apart under the same roof for 20 yrs..

    Then we split and both got some professional help.. This helped a ton for both of us..also helped us love our disabled son Johnny better.. Today Katie and I are closer than ever were while married..

    Those people who mistreated you early in your life are hopefully out of your life now!!! A good therapist can win your trust which leads to trusting other people.. It is possible Lynn..
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