I tried ODing at age eleven and again at age fourteen. I'm now twenty and have never felt an urge as strong as this since when I was fourteen. I've been supporting my boyfriend for 2 years...money, emotional...anything and everything. I've caught him many times on dating sites and chatting with girls saying he is single and looking for sex. He has cam sex and trades pictures. I don't know if he's actually had physical sex. Everytime I find out something with the obvious proof right there...he denies it and calls me insane. He only admitted it on three occasions. I loved him...he won't stop and I am scared that I will always love him. It's so hard being traumatized by sex and knowing you can't please your boyfriend. I am breaking up with him but what's after that?