Maybe it is best if I kill myself. I feel like I'm only bothering people. My online friends say they care, but I still feel like I'm a burden to them. I'm a burden to everyone. Well... the people who even notice that I am there. I am probably an annoyance to everyone here as well. :sad:
Idk.. I'm too nervous to cut deeper.. but maybe I should.. I don't see why anyone would care..
Things will be better off for everyone with me dead.
Now I'm sure that you've probably heard that it doesn't matter what others think of you and that you should concern yourself with first making sure you care about yourself. Well as much as I think we need to like ourselves, I also believe it is equally important to know that someone else cares. Being a part of the Human species makes it this may. We are social creatures and even the most independent, shy, antisocial people still want to know that at least one other human being cares for them.
I know it seems like you may be an annoyance to others but this is also part of being a social being. We lean on each other in our times of need. You lean on your friends and hopefully when they need help they know that you would be there for them. Sometimes it can become a lot to handle and with the fragile state of mind that having suicidal thoughts causes, we can misinterpret what others really think.
I can relate to the questions you are asking yourself and unfortunately I don't have the answers. But maybe instead of ending it, make finding some answers your project for the week. It will at least give you something for the week. And hopefully you can find that indeed many care for you.
One thing I know is that you will never be a burden to someone enough that they would want you dead.
