Me and You and Everyone

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by NoGood, Feb 14, 2010.

  1. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Since when did offering help come with Terms and Conditions???

    Ive been recovering from a difficult couple of months, okay scratch that, ive been having a bad couple of months within the shittiest 10yrs. I havnt been as active on the site and i am gradually distancing myself from here. The site is great but I find it hard to read about people that are hurting and in pain. I dont want to be surrounded by suicide or hurt, its to negative for me to deal with. Ive been trying to stay positive and focus on living life, not take it away. I have lost contact with alot of people that i became friendly with from the site, this is in no way a reflection on you guys, i just need to change direction away from the bad thoughts.

    To everyone on this site that ive had the pleasure of speaking with, i wish you all the best and i hope, i really and truely wish that you feel better and can move past the pain that you are in. Thank you to everyone for the support and help and advice you have offered me. Im sorry i havnt been there for all of you in return but i do say a prayer for all of the SF members.

    Anyway, my real beef is... why do some people say they offer help 'freely' but then expect it in return, like what are the terms and conditions of helping someone. I know that when i take time out to offer a shoulder to someone, i dont expect them to be in my debt, or to feel oblidged to return the favour. If i helped someone at a difficult time then that is reward enough.

    Does anyone feel it is wrong of me to leave the site after so many people have helped me? Surely the people that have helped me, have helped to because they want me to be happier...right?

    It is selfish of me to soley focus on myself, but if i dont focus on me for a while then i will self destruct and will be no help to anyone!! I know when other people left to do the same thing, i felt jealous like "why can they go off and get better" "im miserable and they can be happy" but i was always happy for them, i never wanted someone to suffer just because im suffering. Isnt there a saying like that "loniness loves company" or something.

    Anyway, im rambling. I just want to get it off my chest that I do not feel bad for telling people that i need 'me time'. Some people have tried to turn it round so that this is about them, but its not, its about me and what i need and what i want. Like i said, i need to be around positively. When i needed people to embrace my unhappiness, so many lovely people were here to accommodate me and to support me, now i need people to embrace my positively and recovery. Im not saying one person cannot embrace both, but i find it too easy to slip back into the negative thought process if the person i am talking to accepts suicide.

    Ok im going to finish up. I hope, i really really hope that i havnt offended anyone by taking a back seat on SF and with my communication. And i hope im not coming across as self obessed or big headed either. If i could wave a magic stick and make everyone content and happy, i would do it in a heart beat but the only person that i have control of is me and thats wer i gotta start with.

    For those of you that are interested, ive started a course of St Johns Wort (i know this isnt exactly hard core medication or anything but its the first step) and the great news is, I genuinely havnt had a suicidal thought in the last 2-3weeks that ive been on it. And i do sometimes dare i say it, feel happy and glad and content. I see the light at the end of the dark tunnel and i am running for it as fast as my legs can carry me!!!! :)

    Thanks whoever you are for reading.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 14, 2010
  2. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    I expect you to tickle my toes after i help you. And you never did.... :( And no i don't hate you for leaving. You dont owe us anything. I'm happy you feel better. But i will miss my irish princess lass.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 14, 2010
  3. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    *rofl* *gets a feather out*
  4. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    frisky are we... :tongue:
  5. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Lightbeam - you pin him down and ill grab the feather duster!!! Ill teach you Mr Boo, ill show you how thankful i am.

    -19 hours later-

    Had enough yet...punk?? :p
  6. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    *snickers at Boo*

    On a more serious note....

    NoGood... I think you could use some recoop time. Everyone does. Who came at you with the terms and conditions? I certainly did not. I don't think anyone will blame you for taking a back seat.

    Sometimes we need to better ourselves, and I think you are taking the right direction.
  7. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Yeah, you're right.... Bye.
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey hun, no way no how. Tried to help when and if I could. If I did great, if I didnt well atleast I had the opportunity to call you my friend while you were here. And do it all again in a heart beat so if you ever need the "old neighborhood" dont hesitate to drop by again anytime. Gonna miss you. But not in a sad way. Rahter a happy and proud way. Cuz I know you are leaving to move forward and really try to do exactly what brought you here in the first place.... get past the suicide and live your life!!!! Aww hun all the best, you go girl!!! Waaaaaaa. Ok got that out of my system (lol). :arms: and x's & o's for when you need them.
  9. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Thank you Carla, you are extremely special, and ill never forget the time you saved me! You are great! Be kind to yourself please.

    Thanks for everything SF. You are all in my prayers. I hope you and I make it :)

    Take good care everyone.

  10. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Aurora Gory Alice, please keep in contact and Boo or Steve if you would pass this on to her please.


    Bye!!! x