Me right now

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Deadtwice, Feb 19, 2012.

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  1. Deadtwice

    Deadtwice Well-Known Member

    My life is hell right now I have been Ill for five weeks and the dr still dosent know what is wrong. I can't sleep it feels like I'm losing a battle against hopelessness and suicidal thoughts. I bit my arm up bad cause I don't have a light and I won't let myself touch a blade in my state. I hate my life right now. I would like to talk to someone so anyone can post back.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    If your doctor can not help you then go to another doctor another hospital even hun until you can find someone who can help I am sorry you had to harm you please hun next time call someone okay until that urge for sh goes away hugs
     
  3. Deadtwice

    Deadtwice Well-Known Member

    I have an appointment tomorrow with a specialist. I normally have a buddy to text with but she couldn't last night.
    (hugs not my thing. I have space issues.) =)
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I do u nderstand no hugs then you can pm me anytime okay
     
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I know how you feel...can't trust myself with anything right now either. I hope that things will start to get better for you after you see the specialist.
     
  6. Deadtwice

    Deadtwice Well-Known Member

    Thank you. I got some sleep lastnight and that really helps. The pain woke me up but I got 8 hours of sleep.
     
  7. Deadtwice

    Deadtwice Well-Known Member

    Good feelings gone. My GP sent me to ID and he is having blood work done that has already been done and refferig me to an ENT. His theory being my tonsils are harboring infection. His theory is that the anti-biotics I'm on are causing the abdominal pain. Stoped two of my scripts and started a two different ones that do the same thing. I'm tired of being told nothing looks wrong let's run another test. Something is wrong my body is eating it's self. I have lost 15 lbs and 2 inches on my waist. Not healthy for me I'm now 5 11 110 lbs and I have a 26 inch waist. All my body fat was gone two weeks ago and I'm losing muscle. I shouldn't cut to save what life I have left in me, but I feel it would help so much if I would.
     
  8. Prox

    Prox Active Member

    I'm so sorry, man. But stop hurting yourself. There are other ways to get release. Listen to cathartic music, for instance. Distract yourself.

    I hope things get better for you. Good luck.
     
  9. Deadtwice

    Deadtwice Well-Known Member

    I have cut one but not bad at all ENT cant see me for a week. I get to see my t on friday though. It seems like time is just crawling when I'm not asleep.
     
  10. Deadtwice

    Deadtwice Well-Known Member

    I went to the ENT today surgery is in two weeks to get my tonsils out. Feels like a long fricken time. I have not cut in 2 days. But the three before that i did not do so hot.
     
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