me sis.

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by b-rock, Dec 3, 2011.

  1. b-rock

    b-rock Well-Known Member

    My sister recently passed a few weeks ago--suicide. We never really had the best relationship and we were on a rough patch. In fact I hadn't spoken to her in weeks ahead. It's tough. Because even though we had our differences and even though we were on a bad outing, she was my big sister and no matter what the beef, it would be squashed instantly. The thing that eats me up the most is my sister left this world thinking she was alone. but she wasn't. No matter what I would always have her back. I never said it, but I didn't think I had too, but I wished I did.

    I didn't know what my sister was going through. I was to naive and ignorant. I thought I knew what was what, but I don't. I wish I had some idea because my sister thought she was alone in her pain, but I understood and I felt the things she felt. I could have helped, but it is far too late now. In the past, I used to think that my sister was just being over dramatic and trying to seek attention. It couldn't be further from the truth and I couldn't have been more wrong. But she was wrong thinking that no one really cared for her. She was wrong. She had no idea how much her life meant to the people around her. She was crying for help and like the little shit I am I ignored her. In my lifetime I had only missed my sister just once. Now I miss her everyday. I hope and pray no one ever has to feel the way my sister felt. I hope that people can read this and know that they are never alone and that someone always cares--always cares.
     
  2. Waine

    Waine Member

    Thats the thing with depression, when someone is suffering they think that they are alone and the bottle it all up. Its not your fault she is gone so dont beat yourself up about it, remember all the good times you had with your sister, photos help.

    Its normal to greive for a loved one and i know that you will be going over and over the possible reasons why she did it but you have to let that go because this will lead to you having negative thoughts and this could result in you resenting your sister for what she has done.

    My advice to you is get all her photos, videos etc and have sort of a family meeting and share her memories and exchange storys about the good times, you will find this will help you and your family.
     
  3. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for your loss.

    I'm glad you're here, there are several folks here who have also lost loved ones to suicide. This is a good place to get some support and encouragement.

    You're not alone. there are lots of us here that care
     
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    b-rock, I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug: As much as you sit there now thinking that you are somehow to blame for your sister's feelings of aloneness, I want very much for you to know that her suicide was her own action and choice, with no blame attached to you or anyone else. As noted above, depression can make people feel all alone and desperate - even if there is love and support all around them.

    I really like Waine's suggestion to get together with your family and friends and share memories, pictures, stories of your sister. As with any loss, those will hurt a bit, but then will help you to remember the good things and not dwell on the sadness. Please keep sharing your feelings here on SF. It helps. :hug:
     
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    b-rock, I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug: As much as you sit there now thinking that you are somehow to blame for your sister's feelings of aloneness, I want very much for you to know that her suicide was her own action and choice, with no blame attached to you or anyone else. As noted above, depression can make people feel all alone and desperate - even if there is love and support all around them.

    I really like Waine's suggestion to get together with your family and friends and share memories, pictures, stories of your sister. As with any loss, those will hurt a bit, but then will help you to remember the good things and not dwell on the sadness. Please keep sharing your feelings here on SF. It helps. :hug: