My sister recently passed a few weeks ago--suicide. We never really had the best relationship and we were on a rough patch. In fact I hadn't spoken to her in weeks ahead. It's tough. Because even though we had our differences and even though we were on a bad outing, she was my big sister and no matter what the beef, it would be squashed instantly. The thing that eats me up the most is my sister left this world thinking she was alone. but she wasn't. No matter what I would always have her back. I never said it, but I didn't think I had too, but I wished I did. I didn't know what my sister was going through. I was to naive and ignorant. I thought I knew what was what, but I don't. I wish I had some idea because my sister thought she was alone in her pain, but I understood and I felt the things she felt. I could have helped, but it is far too late now. In the past, I used to think that my sister was just being over dramatic and trying to seek attention. It couldn't be further from the truth and I couldn't have been more wrong. But she was wrong thinking that no one really cared for her. She was wrong. She had no idea how much her life meant to the people around her. She was crying for help and like the little shit I am I ignored her. In my lifetime I had only missed my sister just once. Now I miss her everyday. I hope and pray no one ever has to feel the way my sister felt. I hope that people can read this and know that they are never alone and that someone always cares--always cares.