am Jim and i am almost 65 yrs old now.. this may all be really troubling to some members here so take care..
Trigger Trigger
some people should nnot have children and this should have been my parents.. the abuse started right off the womb for me.. earliest memories are about age 5.. according to me sister i started dissociating about then.. just couldnot stay there and had to run.. spent most of those day checked out into limbo land.. sexual abuse, physical abuse , verbal abuse all the timne...
got out of there age 17 when a doctor finally noticed me.. did not take more htann a good look at me by him for him to know just how serious this all was. also him meeting my parents was eniuf. he backed me and i became a legally emanicated minor with his help
moved into a supported living facility and finished high school..first tried some jobs.. got a scholarship to college and had some mild success there..
problem was initial attempts with a shrink and therapist were not something i could do at all.. i am damaged goods.. very hard to trust people and not constantly being on alert. DID. OCD Depression Schizophrenia and a multifaceted or nonfaceted mental ill mess.
met my wife to be at the next supported living arrangement i was placed in after a 2 month stay at the county booby hatch hospital with the DID amd paranoidschizophrfenic epidemic in me.. katie's family owned the business nad facilities at half way house.. her mother was horrifed that she wanted to associate with me.. LOL another post and time.. turned out katie and i had a lot in common which over all the years slowly we became aware of..
we married not too much later.. we had a son aka zoomies . we both with a college education worked in the facility taking care of people very much like us.. john turned out to be disabled with autism which we recognized early cause we were taking care of young adults just like him..
lots of walls and doors around katie and me between us during the years we lived together. many too painful places we just could not go into with anyone.. we separated in 1990 adn she got her own apartment.. many psychiatric hospitalizations then for her... zoomies nhad i visited her often there at first..
katie got a psychiatrist then that she still sees to this day.. helped her a heck of a lot. nice man. adn competant. i worked last to 1990.. zoomies nad i did broke for many years after that.. things changed around 2000.. an inheritance from grandma happened once my parents were also dead.. we no longer had to choose whether to have heat and electricity or to eat..
i went back to the HMO adn their mental health center i had been using while i was working.. first off i got a good therapist Tara.. 8 yrs later i still see her every couple of months.. meds are working most of the day.. depression still sneaks in most afternoons.. zooms and i go to bed early most nights and he sleeps straight thru and i wake at 1 or 2 am and the world looks a lot better with antidepressants actively working.. the dissociations are happenign much less these days.. have learned to trust other people adn lot of time i feel safe..
been colllecting things forever.. first records, then books and 8 tracks.. computers and video equipment.. dvds aplenty.. on a mission to own every dvd known to humans.. getting there...LOL smoke marlboros. a former druggie and boozer.. been clean of hard liquor and drugs for more than 32 yrs now. katie and zoooms and i had a sitdown years ago where i was told teh habits or my wife and son???? i choose right.
Katie and i divorced friendly in 1996.. she still runs a business looking after adults like zooms. she will not get married again probably. me too.. some of the walls and doors for both of us still in place now.. we take care of our son adn try our best to look after ourselves on a day to day basis..
truthfully, sometimes the past still comes back and grabs me tightly where the hurt resides. doing much better these days but will never totally forget.. Jim
Trigger Trigger
some people should nnot have children and this should have been my parents.. the abuse started right off the womb for me.. earliest memories are about age 5.. according to me sister i started dissociating about then.. just couldnot stay there and had to run.. spent most of those day checked out into limbo land.. sexual abuse, physical abuse , verbal abuse all the timne...
got out of there age 17 when a doctor finally noticed me.. did not take more htann a good look at me by him for him to know just how serious this all was. also him meeting my parents was eniuf. he backed me and i became a legally emanicated minor with his help
moved into a supported living facility and finished high school..first tried some jobs.. got a scholarship to college and had some mild success there..
problem was initial attempts with a shrink and therapist were not something i could do at all.. i am damaged goods.. very hard to trust people and not constantly being on alert. DID. OCD Depression Schizophrenia and a multifaceted or nonfaceted mental ill mess.
met my wife to be at the next supported living arrangement i was placed in after a 2 month stay at the county booby hatch hospital with the DID amd paranoidschizophrfenic epidemic in me.. katie's family owned the business nad facilities at half way house.. her mother was horrifed that she wanted to associate with me.. LOL another post and time.. turned out katie and i had a lot in common which over all the years slowly we became aware of..
we married not too much later.. we had a son aka zoomies . we both with a college education worked in the facility taking care of people very much like us.. john turned out to be disabled with autism which we recognized early cause we were taking care of young adults just like him..
lots of walls and doors around katie and me between us during the years we lived together. many too painful places we just could not go into with anyone.. we separated in 1990 adn she got her own apartment.. many psychiatric hospitalizations then for her... zoomies nhad i visited her often there at first..
katie got a psychiatrist then that she still sees to this day.. helped her a heck of a lot. nice man. adn competant. i worked last to 1990.. zoomies nad i did broke for many years after that.. things changed around 2000.. an inheritance from grandma happened once my parents were also dead.. we no longer had to choose whether to have heat and electricity or to eat..
i went back to the HMO adn their mental health center i had been using while i was working.. first off i got a good therapist Tara.. 8 yrs later i still see her every couple of months.. meds are working most of the day.. depression still sneaks in most afternoons.. zooms and i go to bed early most nights and he sleeps straight thru and i wake at 1 or 2 am and the world looks a lot better with antidepressants actively working.. the dissociations are happenign much less these days.. have learned to trust other people adn lot of time i feel safe..
been colllecting things forever.. first records, then books and 8 tracks.. computers and video equipment.. dvds aplenty.. on a mission to own every dvd known to humans.. getting there...LOL smoke marlboros. a former druggie and boozer.. been clean of hard liquor and drugs for more than 32 yrs now. katie and zoooms and i had a sitdown years ago where i was told teh habits or my wife and son???? i choose right.
Katie and i divorced friendly in 1996.. she still runs a business looking after adults like zooms. she will not get married again probably. me too.. some of the walls and doors for both of us still in place now.. we take care of our son adn try our best to look after ourselves on a day to day basis..
truthfully, sometimes the past still comes back and grabs me tightly where the hurt resides. doing much better these days but will never totally forget.. Jim