i havent had anything to eat for 4 days...and the bad thing is, is that i feel great about it. I was getting better, but i want to be thin more than i want to be healthy. I look in the mirror every morning and think to myself "You fat whore, you should kill your obese self and get it over with" I pinch my skin and weigh myself a thousand times. O strip naked and see if that affects my weight. I JUST WANT TO BE SKINNY I WANT TO BE LIKE I WAS. i am down to 93 lbs and i want to be back down to 74. I want to look in the mirror and see the real me...but is the fat person starring back at me in the mirror really me? how am i to know? I WANT TO BE SKINNY. I AM TIRED OF LOOKING LIKE A WHALE. every time i cut i want to slice the fat and skin off of me.
Hungry has become a forbidden word. I think to myself, "i'm hungry, i should kill myself" "i want to eat, kill myself" now everything is starting to become like that "answer a question wrong on a quiz, kill myself. Late to a class, kill myself. Wake up in the morning, kill myself. seems like an easy way out...even though it really isnt. I am wasting sheets and sheets of notebook paper writing different ways that i could kill myself.
Bones are beauty
Starvation is success
Empty is perfection
Hungry has become a forbidden word. I think to myself, "i'm hungry, i should kill myself" "i want to eat, kill myself" now everything is starting to become like that "answer a question wrong on a quiz, kill myself. Late to a class, kill myself. Wake up in the morning, kill myself. seems like an easy way out...even though it really isnt. I am wasting sheets and sheets of notebook paper writing different ways that i could kill myself.
Bones are beauty
Starvation is success
Empty is perfection
