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Me...Through a Broken Mirror...again

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by SmilePretty, Sep 6, 2006.

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  1. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    i havent had anything to eat for 4 days...and the bad thing is, is that i feel great about it. I was getting better, but i want to be thin more than i want to be healthy. I look in the mirror every morning and think to myself "You fat whore, you should kill your obese self and get it over with" I pinch my skin and weigh myself a thousand times. O strip naked and see if that affects my weight. I JUST WANT TO BE SKINNY I WANT TO BE LIKE I WAS. i am down to 93 lbs and i want to be back down to 74. I want to look in the mirror and see the real me...but is the fat person starring back at me in the mirror really me? how am i to know? I WANT TO BE SKINNY. I AM TIRED OF LOOKING LIKE A WHALE. every time i cut i want to slice the fat and skin off of me.

    Hungry has become a forbidden word. I think to myself, "i'm hungry, i should kill myself" "i want to eat, kill myself" now everything is starting to become like that "answer a question wrong on a quiz, kill myself. Late to a class, kill myself. Wake up in the morning, kill myself. seems like an easy way out...even though it really isnt. I am wasting sheets and sheets of notebook paper writing different ways that i could kill myself.

    Bones are beauty
    Starvation is success
    Empty is perfection
  2. Mio

    Mio Well-Known Member

    Dear Lucy!
    Starvation doesn't seem like the best option. Hope there are many other ways. Really.I send you many many hugs :hug:
    please, take a deep breath and try to stay calm. Please.

  3. Datsik

    Datsik Forum Buddy

    Yeah, Lucy, but 93 lbs isn't a lot... Is it? :unsure:
  4. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    to me it is
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