Me too

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lupine, Jul 10, 2012.

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  1. Lupine

    Lupine New Member

    40 M USA

    What can I say? I don't think I can experience positive feelings anymore. Looking back on my life I have two positive memories, they are pretty recent memories, diving into a lake and then on another day I was walking around after I finished a project that I had worked on for years.

    That's all I can report.

    There are plenty of events that I should have been happy about and should remember fondly now, but I don't.

    The suicidal thoughts are happening everyday now. Therapy has no effect and I am not interested in medication.

    If I was smarter and braver I would not even be here now. I don't know why I am here.
  2. tness

    tness Well-Known Member

    You are not alone. I'm the same age as you, and I also see no future. But I'm still here, and also I keep on fighting, and my days are getting better i think..
  3. Lupine

    Lupine New Member

    thanks for the reply. I hope you do well.
  4. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum, Lupine - I like your username, by the way.

    The last time I remember feeling happy was 17 years ago. I guess I do still have some positive feelings, but nothing near what I would consider happiness. Whatever positive feelings I have are usually overshadowed by the negative feelings I feel the rest of the time. I'm still here because I want to again feel the way that I did that day 17 years ago, if only for one brief moment before I die.
  5. house_atraides

    house_atraides Active Member

    I can't take the medication because my body seems to react violently to anything. Therapy never really worked. I could only talk to friends, or close family. So the feeling of being stuck is no good. Do you feel that way at all? What do you think made those two events stand out more so then anything else? The only thing that helped me, or I might recommend is venting to a peer. Whether it is someone on here that can relate, or anyone in your social life. Feel free to PM if you want. I am always willing to help.
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